Judge — August 2, 1924 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

straight. To continue: No sooner saic than done. Before he was twenty-one years old, Mr. Snickerton was worth the stipulated one million dollars ($1,000,- 000). That’s all.” “But how did you get your start in amassing your great wealth?” I asked. “My secretary didn’t put that down,” replied Mr. Snickerton, peering at the papers in his hand. “Surely you remember,” I persisted. “Well, I do faintly recall it,” admitted Mr. Snickerton. ‘At the age of twenty I married a chorus girl who was receiving fifteen dollars a week.” “But I don’t see—” I started to inter- pose. “I forgot to explain,” he went on hur- riedly, “that she was already married and naturally had to shoot her first husband in order to get me. As she had some business acumen, she had arranged to have a motion picture camera handy, and had already prepared a diagram with cross-marks-spot-where-crime-was-com- mitted. Between the movies and the daily illustrated newspapers we netted a cool million.” “To go back a bit,” I interjected, “you said this was the room in which you served cocktails to distinguished visi- tors?” “Yes,” answered Mr. Snickerton, and graciously dismissed me. “T tell you yer can’t get in.” Tyrer H. Buss. “But, sir, I am her fiancé.” “Go’an, yer the third guy to tell me that to-night.” SHS Greatest Woman Pickled Again.—Headline Optimist—We are told that the meek “His” Den in the Washington Evening Star. shall inherit the earth. So it’s not surprising that the stuff Pessimist—The way things are going, simply paralyzes the average person. they’ll probably be welcome to it. The Way He Wanted to Furnish It NE card table. One poker set. One wicker-covered demijohn. Three smoking stands. Two humidors. ‘Twenty-seven photographs of bathing beauties. Bookcase filled with Jack London, Rex Beach and Mark Twain. J Rack for golf clubs, tennis rackets and fishing rods. The Way His Wife Furnished It One reading table. Three tie racks. One collar bag. Framed motto. Picture of two oranges and a bunch of grapes. Photographs of all her relatives. Bookcase filled with Elinor Glyn, Edgar A. Guest and Harold Bell Wright. Window box of geraniums and ferns. Case containing thimbles, needles and thread. PIS “Your wife says you can’t keep any- thing from her,” said the bantering friend. Satan—And what have you to report to us, your Satanic Majesty, about “She is mistaken,” replied Mr. Peck- your day’s activities. moore with dignity. “I have a quarter Imp No. 1—Your Majesty, I beg to report that I have this day prevented inside the lining of my vest at this very one boy scout from doing his daily good deed. moment.” comicbooks.com