Judge, 1924-07-26 · page 4 of 36
Judge — July 26, 1924 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis **"Brides Will Be Brides"** is a humorous piece about prehistoric courtship customs. The article imagines a cave-dwelling bride's mother offering practical (if absurd) advice: warn the groom he's marrying a leopard or reindeer, make him think you're slow to catch, don't let him get too close or he'll impale you with a spear. The accompanying illustration shows a man and woman in a forest setting, depicting this primitive scenario. **"Ambitions"** is a list comparing famous historical/contemporary figures at various ages (Buffalo Bill at five, Alexander the Great at seven, etc.). **"The Hair and the Tortoise"** cartoon (lower right) appears to be a visual pun on Aesop's fable, though details are unclear from the image. The page satirizes gender dynamics and courtship through comedic exaggeration.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AUT 4 ae She—Did you enjoy the bachelor dinner last night, dear? “Oh, yes; rather slow affair, though!” “And who were the bachelors named Mazie and Beatrice who wrote their names on your shirt bosom?” Ambitions : Buffalo Bill. Alexander the Great. Napoleon. At Fifteen: Robin Hood. At Eighteen: The Prince of Wales. At Twenty-one: The captain of the foot- ball team. At Twenty, Jack Dempsey. At Thirty: Babe Ruth. At Forty: Henry Ford. At Fifty: The local bootlegger. Fae The birth rate has dropped off in France, but in America the Pullman Company remains obdurate. Brides Will Be Brides ust before a prehistoric wedding, the bride's mother would) weep, as. is usual. “['m going to lose my little girl for good.” she would sob. And she jolly well was, too. Then the bride-to-be would become the recipient of a good deal of advice. “Walk slowly up that aisle through the forest where our scouts have ascertained the brid her mot yom is accustomed to hunt.” would counsel her. Watch carefully for his approach. When you sight him, wrap around yourself this new fur—which is most becoming to you, my child—and make him think you're a leopard or a reindeer or something. You simply must do that cleverly if you want the ceremony to go on. Bride- grooms are very apt to cut and run. Gracious, theyre shy!" “Really?” the bride would ask, blish- ing. “But don't deceive him too long.” the wise mother would warn or he may nd chuck a at you, which is no way to begin think you are a real anim When he gets so close that *k out, disclose your presence 1. ‘Phen sprint for it, but be sure he takes out after you.” “But am T not to have any brides- maids, mamma?” the prehistoric bride might interrupt. “Never my child!" the parent: would “We don't want any mistake about who's the bride. Now declare emph: if he is slow to cateh you, you'll have to trip. Up he puffs then, wallops you over the head and drags you off by the hair, That's all. It’s time you're off now.” Whereupon the bride’s mother would shove the bride out of the cave, sighing reminiscently : “Ah, a wedding is a big moment in a young girl's life!” Farrrax Downey. The hair and the tortoise. comicbooks.com