Judge — July 26, 1924 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A FORECAST OF THE SEASON or the last six weeks my personal aff of expert. investigators has heen employed in gathering stati hing theatrical season. ‘Their complete report is now in, and is set forth below. The readers of JubGE congratulate themselves warmly on being made privy to this exclusive information. ‘The forthcoming season, my scouts report, will open on the hottest night in August, the day before having been cool and having fooled the management. After the first act of the play, everyone will say to everyone else: “Only a dam- tics on the appr ld go to the theater on a night Mr. Belasco will use the same system of stage lighting that he has used since 1915, but will put a note in his programs saying t the system he is using this season is a new invention, based on original experiments with the half-prism spectroscope, the spectrophotometer, the spectrobolometer and an old ashcan. This new system will duly be hailed by the reviewers as a wonderful one and as a remarkable advance over the old system. by George Jean Nathan At the conclusion of the second act of twenty-eight different plays presented by preducing firms other than his owa, Mr. Lee Shubert will, in passing, say to me, “Wonderful play, isn’t it?” 1 will on cach occasion then say to myself, “There's a generous guy for you! Perfectly willing and happy to boost the pl of his rivals.” I will subsequently discover that, in the instance of each of the twenty-eight plays, Mr. Shubert owns a fifty per cent. interest. Having eulogized Owen Davis for the last two years because he wrote plays that were somewhat above the grade of the melodramatic rubbish to which he had previously devoted himself, the reviewers will this season get tired of eulogizing him and will prove their judicial equanimity by again roasting the tar out of him, no matter what kind of plays he writes. ‘Three New York revue producers will cabbage effects from the Folies Bergére in Paris and will then institute suits for heavy damages against other New York revue producers who will cabbage the effects from them. Two dramatic plays and a musical comedy will open on New Year’s Eve. All the reviewers with the exception of Mr. J. Ranken Towse will pick out the musical comedy and will arrive from twenty-five to forty-five minutes late with elegant packages. Mr. Walter Hampden will spend all the profits of “Cyrano de Bergera circulars announcing that he is the great- est living Shakespearian actor. Nine elaborate revues will be pro- duced at a cost of $200,000 each, the big hit in each of which will be scored by a couple of $50 clog dancers from the small-time vaudeville circuit. "on “wer LL the worst plays of the season will be brought out by various publishers in book form. Each will have a preface in which it will be observed that the author is a playwright of considerable promise. P. G. Wodehouse will compose a lyric in which he will rhyme “Lido-Venice” with “feed O’Dennis” and will promptly be hailed as the greatest lyric writer since W. S. Gilbert. Father—My son, I feel the time has come to give you the start in life I’ve always promised you. Most of our leading financiers to-day have built up their fortunes from a shoestring. Here's a shoestring. 16 comicbooks.com