Judge — July 26, 1924 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Gossip’s Dream Broadcasting What She Knows Voice of Announcer—Mrs. Petunia Splivvens of this village now speaking. Well-known Soprano of Mrs. Spliv- vens—Hello, everybody, I just’ thought I'd tell you the latest news. I see the Gimmishes have bought a new Ford sedan. That means mischief. First thing you know it will be doing double duty at all the roadhouses in toward the city. Lester Gimmish always was a fast boy and I don’t know but what he can be faster. He's wild—positively wild and unscrupulous. I hear tell where he plays all the Hawaiian melodies on his ukulele. Morbid I call it. Must take after his father. Christopher Gimmish was always over-fond of women. Well— we know what happened to Christopher Gimmish! Far be it from me to say a word against Clara Gimmish! good woman if shedoes belong toadifferent communion than I do. But everybody knows Clara don’t wiggle a finger around the house, bosses Chris till he don’t dare to call his shirt his own, makes punk pie, acts as if Chris owned an oil well—the way she fritters away his money, and wouldn't have more children if the poor man got em for her from a mail-order house. Gettin’ all I say, Mrs. Grimes? And you, Delia Robbins? My that’s fine! I don’t know when they invented as use- ful a thing as radio! Now where was I— s—that new Ford sedan. (Ete, , till curfew). E, J..K; sa Down—and out— Here Lies— Here lies the body of Elmer Trask He drank from a stranger's 14 pt. flask. Ballade of An Unusual Young Lady W's SOME superior alloy Mixed with the clay from which I grew? T can’t endure the hoi polloi, Yet often they amuse me, too. This quiet smile is, entre nous, A proof I find mankind a jest. Though I am human—very true— I must be diffrent from the rest. Old arguments that men employ young free nature must eschew; I share no common grief or joy— And you would wonder if you knew! For it not occurred to you That I a riddle, still unguessed By all except the very few? I must be diff'rent from the rest. Old silly customs seem to cloy A soul tradition can’t subdue; Sometimes, good God, I would destroy My world, and build it all anew! Yet even then it might be true That life would lose a certain zest If all from me their pattern drew, I must be diffrent from the rest. L’Envoi Please be surprised at all I do, And what I say, and how I’m dressed Or you'll annoy me through and throug! I must be diffrent from the rest. Jounson The man at the end of the orchestra at work— —and at play. comicbooks.com