Judge — July 19, 1924 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Coming out, Fred? Ain’t It a Shame? Ore upon a time there were two little girls—one’s name was Mary, the other’s Dolores. When Mary was sixteen she went to business college. Afterward she got a job as a stenographer in a radio factory and fell in love with the foreman. They were married and had five children. John, the husband, came home at six-fifteen every night, ate his dinner, turned on his home-made radio and read the success articles in the Boosters’ Maga- Mary sewed and said nothing. In the meantime Dolores had bobbed her hair and joined the chorus. Natu- rally, Mary would not have anything to do with her sister after that. She did not want her five children to be spoiled by the bad example of their aunt. So John had never met Dolores. But— As you all know, men who read the Boosters’ Magazine faithfully and live up to its teachings, are bound to make good eventually. John was not. satisfied to remain a foreman in the factory where he had met his wife, and he invented a device for the elimination of static from He went to his banker. “Mr. Higginbottom,” he said to the banker, “I am poor but honest and I have radio. an invention which will revolutionize the radio industry. All I need is $500,000 and you and I will both be independently rich.” to finance i him have a drink.” “I know you are poor,” said the banker with a frown (there was really no reason for frowning except that all bankers are supposed to frown when asked for money). “but how do I know you are honest? How do I know I shall get my $500,000 back?” “Why, Mr. Higginbottom, I read the Boosters’ Magazine regularly “Enough,” the banker cried. “Here is my check for . All T want for my share i y-one per cent. of the stock.” With $500,000, his honesty, his inven- tion and his magazine John soon became a multimillionaire. Mary, his wife, remained a perfectly good woman, a model mother, a splendid housekeeper, a faithful wife— The Spell of the Yukon, 26 We've fed the goat with mother’s big sponge, and now we’re going to let —Passing Show (London). So, what was more natural than that John, the husband, should finally be weaned away by one younger, prettier, more dashing? This would probably never have hap- pened if John had not stopped reading the Boosters’ Magazine. It not the magazine’s fault. When his subserip- tion expired they sent him letters warn- ing him that he would be sorry if he did not renew it but success had made him haughty and he did not sign the enclosed card. He went to the Gaiety Theater one night with a party of friends. The shi was “Nudes of the Night.” and there in the center of the stage he saw a beautiful apparition who sang that song the whole country was crazy “Grab me! tight! “Be rough, babe, but do it right!” One of his friends knew the mar of the show, who took the party back stage and there John met the beautiful girl who had sung the song. gested a drive. was rout: Sock me! Squeeze me ger He sug The girl was not particn- larly enthusiastic, but when Jolin added “in my Bolls-Boyce” she accepted. As they were thus riding he moved close to her, put his arm around her neck, and whispered: “T could learn to love you, girlie.” “Oh, you could, could you?” she re plied (for she had also heard this before). “Yes, [ could. If you ever need a friend call on me.” comicbooks.com