Judge — July 19, 1924 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ip ; } ' of the Yarmouth Hussars — Commissary Division. “Tm colonel of seventeen regiments,” he continued. I stared at him in amaze- Supply and ment. “Seventeen?” Seventeen or eighteen,” he said ‘It's a beastly responsibility too; know ing which uniform to wear with which, and all that sort of thing. And it cuts horribly into one’s afternoons, you know | jolly well like to play a bit of golf with the boys now and then.” “Do you play L asked. “['m captain of St. Andrew's,” he re- plied. “But the silliest part of it all is that my military and naval duties don’t leave me much time to devote to my academic career.” I don’t get you, prine ished. By this time I had begun vaguely to appreciate the amazing versatility of this modest, unassuming youth who sat In a few brief years he had, by sheer British pluck well?” *T said aston- opposite me. and genius, earned for himself glory and distinction that overshadowed the achievements of Nelson, Caesar, Napoleon and Alexander the Great. But still, although he seemed keen and intelligent, he scarcely impressed me as being the intellectu “Oh, yes.” he said. of Aberdeen Univers type. ‘Tm Chancellor Rector of St. Dumfries College, Glasgow, and have degrees of LL.D. D.C.L., and D.D.S. from both Oxford and Cambridge. In fact,” he added, “I have degrees from several of your American Universities.” “You're spoofing, prince,” L said, pok ing him jocularly in the ribs. In reply, he took me by the arm and led me over to the wall, where, sure enough, there hung dozens of framed diplomas, together with his vaccination certificate, a certificate of membership inthe St. Nicholas League and other evidences of youthful achievement. you go,” he said, “but “Pm sorry to have as he escorted me out into the hall I have to deliver the baccalaureate ser- mon this afternoon at the Royal Business College. Pm to receive the degree of C.P.A. Look out for that third step from the bottom. It’s broken, and I've been after dad for a month to have it fixed. It's been awfully jolly to see you.” Newman Levy. A Last Resort fh tried my hand at literature; I've tried my hand at art; In law I've struggled to secure \ satisfactory start. But all in vain, with might and main, I've battled “gainst my fate, While summers bloom and fade again, I grow disconsolate. I've tried my hand at everything; I've studied five or six Professions. » reward they bring. T'll now try politics: Since all the other things 've done Have proven fruitless cares, I guess Il undertake to run ‘The Government's affairs. “Gee, I ain’t gainin’ on him like I oughta!” Ws Remorse M: BRAIN is very far from clear So T can't quite explain to you Just how it was I landed here Within the bird-cage at. the 200; Why is my hair gummed up with glue? Where did I find this saxophone? I wish I knew! I should have left that hooch alone. I don’t recall. I thought it tasted rather queer— And then—and then—what did I do? You say that I went out—oh, dear!— Clad in pyjamas and one shoe, And then kissed two policemen? Two? I'll own This morning I am slightly blue. I should have left that hooch alone. IT must have had a peach! Who put green paint upon my ear? Who daubed my nose this orange hue? I did? Gee whizz, it would appear I stepped out some. Say, is it true I tried to join a schooner crew And sail away to parts unknown? I had, it seems, one first-class stew! I should have left that hooch alone. Envoi I'm done, I’m finished, ended, through! “My head!” groan; head, my sigh and No more of such bootlegger brew, I should have left that hooch alone! A. B. Esbwed comicbooks.com