Judge — July 12, 1924 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ICER, who is this George Herman Ruth you've got listed here to appear before me? Oh, Babe Ruth! Why didn’t you say so in the first place? What's on your mind, Babe? “Nothing much, your Honor.” “Ts that chronic? “Twish it was. But Ihave my dreams same as you high-brows, and some of ‘em Nightmares, you don’t say so! How can a man with your digestion have nightmares?” “Well, mean the doc mil have to ask the vet—I about that. All I know is I began having ‘em about the time Judge Landis got his baseball job. ‘The Judge used to show up in my dreams regular. Now it's Jack Dempse “What, you're not going to get into a row with Dempsey, are you?” “No, I got nothing against Jack. And T wouldn't fight him anyways, not with- outa bat in my hands. I keep seeing him as he looks in the movies, all dolled up like V at me entino, an’ he keeps grinnin’ and sayin’, “See what 4 comin’ to, Babe. Holy Mae Jepce, do you think they'll ever catch ine and doll me up like a he: T just ca-ca-can't b-b-bb, » *There, there, B: ane? xe! Don'tery. Not all champions have to go into the movies. You might become a player-writer. in- You can’t tell.” stead. Query: What's the difference be- tueen a nightmare and a dark horse toa prominent candidate for the Democratic nomination? “Wity, how do you do, Mr, Bryan? Did you enjoy yourself at the Democratic convention?” “[ had a most enjoyable time as usual, your Honor.” “You did not suffer, then, from a sense of pollution in’ smelling the alcoholic breath of the Metropolis? “Oh, to be sure. But that’s my pro- fession, smelling alcohol and feeling pol- luted. Only, with my feeling of pollution there always goes that other feeling that my presence and influence are promoting the cause of righteousness.” “So you think the cause of righteous- ness was advanced by championing a candidate with Mr. MeAdoo’s record? “Ido. Mr. McAdoo was the one man among the candidates who, I felt, sub- seribed to my views on prohibition.” “That is to say, no matter how he may have smelt of oil, or even of the tar kettle, so long as you detected no whiff of rum about him you considered him to be an ideal candidate for President of the United $ “Sir, no man can be in evil odor who holds aloft the snow-white banner of pro hibition.” ates?” “T see. That explains how the man who made the ‘Cross of Gold’ speech and wrote “The Prince of advocate the nomination of Doheny’s lawyer, the candidate of the Klan. Mr. Bryan, you have a radio in your home, have you not?” “Most assuredly.” “Then you know that different broad- casting stations employ different wave- lengths, and that if you wish to hear a given program required wavel« “Yes, sir. “Well, different: odors hi different wavelengths also. It’s really nothing to me, but [advise you to go home and tune Peace’ can you must tune in at the the" your nose to ent perish of dry rot.” receive something besides the si of alcohol, or you'll Iv 1s quite typical of reformers of the Bryan they should be insensitive stripe that to Mr. Me- Adoo’s disqualifications. When William J. Gaynor was Ma New York City he was at constant lo, heads with the vi would not countenance the snoopir spying and raiding by the police that le inevitably to tyranny, graft and extor- tion. As a prominent professional up- lifter put it at the time: “The Mayor's afraid of graft, but that never bothers us. Better raids with graft than no raids,” srusaders because he In other words, to vice-crusaders the presence of corruption is of no conse- quence compared with the presence of Their attitude toward prohibition enforcement. is, of course, an excellent corroboration of this. And Mr. Bryan's passionate support of Mr. MeAdoo. is certainly not inconsistent with it Not that Mr. McAdoo can be aceused of corruption. He has been guilty at the bad taste. But nothing vice. most of 11 tastes bad to Mr. Bryan that is avowedly non-aleol WHAT this country needs even more than a rest, now that the National Convention. sensible attire , isa for men. We males like to poke fun at the women for the discomforts they are willing to en- dure in the name of fashion, but nothing in their record, which includes corsets and ove summer summer furs and it. skirts, surpasses our own slavery to the woolen suit. Why do we still adhere so rigidly to the styles of London, where woolens can be worn with comfort all the year round, when we'd be much better advised to turn to India? In India, unless our sartorial scouts deceive us, it is considered wholly normal and sensible to dress for the day in pajamas light, be highly Pajamas are modest, inexpensive, and 1 And what's more, most of us are supplied with them already. All we'd have to do would be to get up on cool, decorative. some glorious sun-kissed to-morrow and forth like the without change of plumage, and make America a brighter, gayer, happier land. Certainly 1. Wearing What they do to-day, couldn't object. saunter birds the wom Ku under Klur the How about joining the Klan naked nightgown and hood for the season? Tue to analyze for us some ¢ and going PsycnoLoaists y the effect of clothes on the human spirit. A man can't put a flower in his buttonhole without a wee desire to tilt his hat ever so slightly to the side of his head. And he can’t put on a gray derby without some return of the divine irresponsibility that marked the Golden Age. Imagine, then, what a business suit of pajamas would accomplish in the matter of trans- forming George F. Babbitt from the pompous charlatan of our acquaintance into a gay and debonair bird, as merry as the colors of his costume, as impatient of bunk and affectation as he light on his feet. Woolen suits in summer dampen our spirits with our bodies. weight but their lack of cole us to go at the business of lif and sour frame of mind. Tf all of woman- kind tailored for the season, there'd be no use in living! W. M. H. would be at only their r encourage in a dogged also wore suits comicbooks.com