Judge, 1924-07-05 · page 18 of 36
Judge — July 5, 1924 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page presents Howard Dietz's retelling of the classical myth for a modern audience. The satire targets the Gilded Age obsession with wealth and artificial perfection. **The Story**: A sculptor creates an idealized statue of a woman—perfect in every detail—whom he treats as a living companion, lavishing her with expensive clothes, jewelry, and luxuries. Venus grants his wish by bringing her to life as his wife. **The Satire**: The joke mocks wealthy men who pursue impossibly perfect, artificial ideals of femininity rather than accepting real women with natural flaws. The "moral" delivers the actual critique: men cling to false ideals hoping they'll magically become real—then marry women who are "dumber than stone," discovering too late that their fantasy doesn't match reality. **Context**: This reflects Gilded Age anxieties about materialism, the commercialization of beauty, and men's unrealistic expectations shaped by art and consumption rather than genuine human connection. The classical framing satirizes how wealthy aesthetes pursued artificial perfection through money.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THY GILDID AGL wi rele wey ee ele ey ees HE ladies—God blessed them, yet few who detest them xist, and Pygmalion was one of them. Asculptor,Pygmalion,and stubbornly alien ‘To feminine charms—he'd have none of them. ‘Their hips were too high and their knees were too knocked. Oh, many a time while at work he had d His eye at a model, then shaking his noddle, He'd say very smugly, “She's certainly ugly. The creature's bad features should surely he docked.” And so he created a statue which rated Perfection in every detail of her. From tiptoe to forehead no portion was horrid Ask old connoisseurs, they'll aver. In ivory smoother than smooth alabaster, And white as the snow on a mountain he that’s what cast her. Her every section was more than per- fection. ‘The artist's creation deserved admira- tion And even emotions where hearts beat the faster. To fall for a statue like that may seem fatu- Ous, even more so, to some of you. But let us not kid it, Pygmalion did it, And if you don’t get it, it’s dumb of you. He gave her a hug and he gave her a squeeze. He made her the hostess at all of his teas. He decked her in raiment too priceless for payment- Five rings and a necklace. Now isn’t it reckless . For artists in garrets to buy things like these? A couch for his fairest, he made of the rarest Of Tyrian dyes. In this bower he Embraced her and kissed her—like mis- tress and mister. He courted with eloquence flowery. They got along splendid, unharried with strife. And so he asked Venus to make her his wife. The Goddess consented. tor, contented, Returned to his better half solely to pet her, And found that his spouse was aroused into life. The sculp = ale ee wey eee ee eee MORAL The Moral If you cling to a thing, though it’s false, your ideal With the lapsing of time may perhaps become real. many a known ‘To marry a maid who was dumber than And bachelor later was stone. Howarp Dietz. ooo ee pep comicbooks.com