Judge — June 14, 1924 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Bootlegger (to dry agent neighbor)—Say, Fred, when’re you fifty cases of bum stuff—I need the room. The Prophet at Home I’ vt to write up Bildad Bond; his fame tends from pole to pole, and seven miles. Punktown-in-the-Hole, to beyond. Wherever people congregate, wherever pilgrims meet, they talk about that famous skate, whose curves can not be beat. "s pictured in the magazines, read his fame; in all these stirring mundane scenes there is the movies s no. 1, “I'll seek his town, and I'll trudge, and all particu- et down, and draw five bone 2. I'll interview the village who've been his neighbors long; familiar with his walks and ways, their comments should be strong. No doubt they'll boost him to the skies, and speak his name with awe; but I can dump their fiercest lic : conclusions draw.” Ah, y age druggist said, “T know the man you name; the truth is I am overfed with Bildad and his fame. He puts his graft across with ease as down the world he wends, but here at home his name is Cheese, and he is shy of friends. He's bought my calor anid nux, my compound juice of squills, and owes me twenty-seven bucks—he hates to pay his bills. I've worn out ma pairs of shoes pursuing him for scads: pharmacist m have his dues, or he'll from go broke, me lads. I care not if the world applauds this Bildad Bond to-day; Le a delegate with frauds if he de clines to pay. [ care not if exulting tones of worshipers are heard; he owes me twenty-seven bones, and he’s a tinhorn bird.” I met a widow in the lane, hard by the village pond; I said, “What think you, Mary Jane, of Colonel Bildad Bond? Is he the goods, oh, Jenny Wren, or merely sounding brass? Out in the busy haunts of men he cuts all kinds of grass.” “I am a widow lorn and lone,” this female scout replied, “to make a living of my own most faithfully I tried. I had a little plot of ground, and there I made things grow, and there all day I might be found with spade and rake and hoe. I had my beds of succotash, and nutmeg vines were the I thought my yarbs would bring me cash, with dimes, perchance to spare. I planned to take my stringless beans, my non-explosive peas, and all and sell the > wi os “But Bildad Bond, he lived next door, and kept a1 yarbs w ull galore, he turned tl from their pens. They scratched my garden all to shreds, with industry dog- goned, and I called blessings on their heads, and eke on Bildad Bond. I ask you, stranger, what's the Does 22 ies of greens, use? going to seize those he not spill the beans who turns a million roosters loose upon a widow's greens? What boots fame from tif the papers spread his hh to beach? ble s head, and every one’s a pea The kind of blessings I invoke will not make Bond enthuse; they leave behind a trail of smoke, and a smell like burning shoes.” And so it was with all I met; they all made dismal moan that Bildad was the punkest bet a moral town could own. And such is fame; it hits the spot long lea ¥ from home, but there it has a taint of rot, and hints of T Ws tt T call down ings on | pot Dome. wt Mason. “Is Gertrude a good friend of yours?” “T should say She tells every- body everything unpleasant she ever hears about me, just to be able to say she doesn’t believe a word of it.” y she is! The Slack Season Housewife—You say you didn’t have any work to do all winter. What kind of work do you do? Tramp—I'm a judge of bathing beauty contests. sae Directions for getting a drink: North, South, East, West. So ni Our | Our { And Refor We'll And Whil In ov And | Refo Away Refo Our § Tom Till y Thro To g And We'y Refo Refo Tor You’ Refo Daily In temp XUM comicbooks.com