Judge, 1924-06-14 · page 13 of 37
Judge — June 14, 1924 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis **The Main Cartoon:** A fat woman on horseback asks an Irish groom if the ride will reduce her weight. He replies the horse is already thinner after just the second ride—a joke about her excessive weight literally wearing down the animal. **"Another Version":** A brief satire contrasting old versus modern values. The traditional song claimed men want little in life; the updated version suggests modern men are greedy, wanting "as much as he can get, / And wants it all the time." **"A Guide for Busy Authors":** Mockery of formulaic novelette fiction in popular magazines. The satirical "Twanged Romance" template shows how predictable these stories are: bachelor changes mind about marriage after meeting a woman, they plan a date, she arrives late—then returns to his original misogynistic views (the circular joke). **"The Young Idea":** Humorous collection of schoolchildren's exam answers, featuring absurd definitions: bosphorus as "dull light" from swamps, civil war defined by civilized killing methods, larvae as "streams of molten rock." The page mixes social satire with humor at the expense of weight, gender stereotypes, literary mediocrity, and childhood ignorance.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
XUM Fat Woman—Wu-will thu-this really ru-reduce flesh? Irish Groom—Sure, mum. This is only the second ride an’ the horse is thinner already. Another Version They used to sing, some time ago, A rather plaintive song: “Man wants but little here below, Nor wants that little long.” But nowadays, the song is set With music to the rhyme: “Man wants as much as he can get, And wants it all the time.” A Guide for Busy Authors (Due to the demand for rapidly moving and condensed fiction in the modern popular magazines, the following form is given asa model for “novelette” writers.) Tuwartep Romance Chapter I—Archibald termined to be a bachelor. Chapter TI—He thought all girls were rattle-brained and lacked originality. Chapter HI—Yo marry him, a girl had Chapter IV—At a social af Magruder de- » he met Henrietta Van Whuh. She impressed him. He did not think this girl (see Chapter TD). He thought he had at last met one who was (see Chapter IIT). Chapter V—She accepted an invitation to dine with him two ni later. She Was to meet him at seven-thirty in front of the drug store at Center and Maple streets, Chapter VI—Two days have passed. Chapter VIT—Itis seven-thirty. He is at (see Chapter V). Chapter VIII—She appeared at. eight forty-five. She ¢ “Oh, I'm not late, am Chapter IX.—(See Chapters I and 1). se ed him with: A. prehistoric human skull, with a mouth seven inches wide, was unearthed at Santa Barbara. Its owner probably got that way bragging about the Cali- fornia climate. toe Persons run over by automobile balloon tires may escape serious injury, says a motor magazine. Still, the principle of the thing will never make the practice popular. ott A eorporal of Marines has been dis- charged from the serv affliction made him see double. As a reader of electric light meters, his future would be assured. ‘e because an eye ‘The Poot Lan England, whose name, of course, is well known to all, will visit the United States this summer. Sot A young Indian on a Government reservation tomahawked a fellow brave with a Ford crank. ization continues! The march of civil- il {_ Fer \ pquestemns | ony The Young Idea (Some answers from an Indiana public school examination) Tue Bosphorus is the dull light that comes from decayed wood you see in swamps at night. A civil war is a war fought. by people who are civilized and not savag » that they try to kill ly and as soon as they can, without torturing them. +h other as painles Secession is the shock you get when something hits you on the head. A peninsula is a bird that lives on ice- hergs. You sce pictures of them in the news reels. When a temperature is Fahrenheit, it isa lot hotter than when it is Centigrade. Tt is liquid measure when it spills out of the thing it is in, and dry measure when it stays in. Larviv are the streams of molten rock that come out of voleanoes when they erupt. The known inhabitants of America were prehistoric, and nothing is known about them. Glaciers are me when they get bri carliest who fix your windows cen, comicbooks.com