Judge — May 17, 1924 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“No, I can never marry you, Leander. Tue Joke Makers’ UNIon T= ANNUAL convention of the Joke * Union was called to order by nt, Mr. Joseph Miller, the mith. meeting will please come to order,” said Mr, Miller. Tl take a light beer,” said “Bud” Ginsberg, the well-known columnist, with a merry twinkle in his eye. “It's one of the rules of this union—” said the president. “I never wear them,” said the irre- pressible Mr. Ginsberg. “It is one of the rules of our organiza- tion,” said the chairman sternly, “that anyone making a pun shall be disci- plined—” “Make the punishment fit the pun,” suggested “Sid” Kelly, the musical com- edy librettist. “This joke business,” continued the chairman, ignoring him, “is no joke. It's funny how sad our humor is growing, and how hard it is becoming to make people laugh. In my younger days all that was necessary was to ask where Moses was when the light went out—” “TI once wrote a whole libretto on that one,” said Kelly. “Nowadays a joke ina But I'll be a brother to you.” musical comedy is like the oyster in a Coney Island oyster stew.” “That one was banned by Rule 19, adopted in 1897,” said the chairman. “Let us get down to business. Has the relief committee anything to report?” Mark Robinson, the comic editor, arose and adjusted his monocle carefully in his left eye. “The committee reports,” said Mr. Robinson, “that Henry Wraggles and Dusty Rhodes, our two old standby in destitute circumstances. are Farmer Corn- tassel is suffering from the current agri- cultural depression. MissCayenne choked on an epigram last week and is now in the hospital. Mr. Staylate has had an acute attack of insomnia, and Mr. Suburbs is stricken with locomotor ataxia.” (Loud cheers, laughter and applause.) “Little Bobby, aged six, has the mumps (prolonged cheers) and his little sister Mary, aged three, is laid up with the measles, scarlet fever, chicken pox, and housemaid’s knee (laughter, whistles and cat calls). The committee recommends that all these jokes be retired on a pension to the Union’s home for down and out jokes in the Punjab.” “Anything further?” asked the chair- man, 24 “Tam happy to report,” said Mr. Rob- inson, “that the following jokes died since our last session: The mother-in-law joke, (hear, hear!) the bootlegging joke, the radio joke, and the Mah Jongg joke.” “[ move that the report of the com- mittee be adopted,” said Aristophanes Smith. “All those in favor say, ‘aye,”” said the president. “No!” shouted the crowd. “The motion appears to be carried,” said the president with a roguish wink. “Mr. Chairman!” cricd “Bud” 1s- berg, frantically endeavoring to attract the attention of the chair, “I am re- minded of a story The chairman banged heavily upon the table with his gavel. “Mr. Ginsberg,” he said indignantly, “don’t you know that that expression is forbidden by article two of our constitu- tion. If it occurs again I shall have to suspend you from membership. ‘There is one further bit of business to transact: The award of the Sunday Supplement Medal for long The prize this year goes to a joke that for endurance, dullness, and general antiquity has never been surpassed. It affords me great pleasure to present this beautiful medal to Mr. and Mrs. Newlywed! Amid thunderous cheers, the meeting adjourned. and faithful service. Newman Levy. or Opportunity First Vice-president—But when do you find time to do all your work. Second Vice-president—Oh, while president is playing golf. the Aas During evidence on a raid made on a London night club it was stated that a constable in evening dress consumed a thirty-five shilling bottle of champagne with a lady friend. When appealing for police recruits the authorities should men- tion this on the posters—The Humorist (London), I’m gonna be a bricklayer! It pays better than laying duck eggs!” “Ahal comicbooks.com