Judge — May 17, 1924 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

umn tts Wuen Trutu Prevaits An Advance Selection from Certain Cor- respondence in the Year of the Millennium Dear Mr. and Mrs. STEVENs: Whether you will be able to spend Saturday and Sunday at our home is per- fectly immaterial to us. As a matter of trying to pay back the hospi- tality received (and not especially joyed) by us during the past year, and felt yer and less annoying to fact we a it would be chea have a number of people at once instead of one or two time. If you come, you will probably get the small room ut the top of the stairs where the venti- lation is bad, since are not as im- portant to us soc other guests. For } overeat as you usually do, and go easy on the cocktails. Inditferently yours, Grorce axp Mary Curtis. some of the en's sake don't Mr. anp Mrs. Curtis: ntly hypocritical to affix the conventional “Dear” after the week-end spent at isly, no doubt, ar Merely a gentle hint, we might suggest that Mrs. Curtis improve her table manne Curtis his bootlegger. Tneident you know that even the y ation after a few hours, and you sutly know nothing else to talk it. There was no hot water in our bathroom. We suppose we shall hav to return the invitation, but rest. 2 that we will take our time a Wholly apathet Rupo.en ann Myrri We cannot be suffice: atrociously bo what you, hum pleased to call your “home.” topie of cony P. J. Henpryx, Sir: In spite of the fact that your golf game resembles a cow crossing a muddy. pas- ture, that your disposition is like a pair of wet socks and that if reputation for in- tegrity could be measured by degrees of perature, yours would give chilblains to Eskimos, we are nevertheless inviting Pigeonhole room designed for the man who always says, “There should be a place for everything, and everything should be in its place.” The fact is that we are short on money, and you have the roll. Subserviently yours, Tuk Mewpersuie Comirrre. you to membership in the club, PLS. Don't forget that we are going you 4 in return for being obliged to endure your to try to sou louble initiation fee Kerenum & NickeMDEPARTMENTSTORE. Gents: for infor- ion concerning the reliability, ete., of unduncle, Jonidab Quigg, who wishes toopen an account with you. It gives me great pleasure to inform you that Mr. Quigg, although my most pa wealthy living relative, is a tight-fisted sa bill until it is obligatory in the hope that he may dic and thus be able to cheat his creditors. T regret to say that this hope has not yet been fulfilled. Being a couple of crooks yourselves, however, you will probably be T have at hand your req rilla who never pi able to get along with him better than the rest of humanity can. Iusultingly yours, Istint Owrrr. Dear Aunt May: Thanks for the wedding devil is it supposed to be? What the Timorny. T. B. NECESSITY Friend—So your boy will hx from college this yer Mother—L believe so. cut his allowance in half His father has FPootnarpy? Nossun! sa—An’ what did yo" say when de vot guilty"? Who? Me? Ah didn’ say nuf- Think Ah wanta commit mah- THE EX-DOCK-WORKER HAT.CHECK BOY IS TOO STRENUOUS “Yes'r, it’s cold out— an’ yo’ is gunna need dis heavy coat—fo’ sho —Lawdy!” comicbooks.com