Judge, 1924-03-22 · page 11 of 36
Judge — March 22, 1924 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page contains multiple short humorous pieces typical of early-20th-century American satirical magazines. **"Hieroglyphics"** (Edwin Rutt poem): A scholar boasts of mastering ancient languages—Koran, Hindustani, Assyrian, Homer, Omar, Burmese, Confucius—yet confesses he cannot distinguish between letters in his girlfriend's handwriting. The joke satirizes pedantic intellectualism: academic erudition means nothing in practical romantic matters. **"S.O.S."**: Nautical wordplay using abbreviated sailing terms (DP sails, RD, IC gales, KC, DZ, CE) to describe a sailor's dangerous life. It's a coded complaint about maritime hardships. **"Hands Over Across the Sea"**: A brief joke about foreign lecturers visiting America, hoping audiences will "come across" (spend money). **"A Dickens of a Joke"**: Wordplay using Charles Dickens novel titles ("Great Expectations," "Bleak House") to joke about hiding an empty liquor flask. The bottom cartoon depicts congratulating a father on his newborn, mistakenly calling it "the happiest occasion of your life"—the joke being fatherhood is typically viewed as burdensome rather than joyful.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HIEROGLYPHICS B SOME cerebral conniptions I have read the vague inscriptions That embellish all the obclisks at Kish, And although the strain’s terrific Each and every hieroglyphic Is to me a most alluring sort of dish. I cannot be called a moron, For I’ve labored o’er the Koran, And have put it into graceful But I must confess I'm beaten, Burned and busted, smashed and eaten, When I try to tell your “h’s” from your es. When it comes to Hindustani My finesse is quite uncanny, And Assyrian’s my special apple sauce: While originals from Homer, And the copy book of Omar, Weren't designed to render me a total loss. Like a philologic Hermes I can wing my way through Burmese, And I revel in Confucius line by line: But I need celestial knowledge, Not obtained in any college, When I want to read your letters, girl of mine! Epwin Rurr. $s. 0. S.! A satLor has no EZ time, + When on the DP sails. It's RD finds, aloft to climb, Exposed to IC gales; And then in KC makes a slip, Or if he DZ grows, \ tumble off the RD ship, And into the CE goes. ttt Men can stand the by-laws of matri- mony, but they usually object to the in-laws. Hanps Ovrt Across THE Sra What are all these foreign lecturers coming across for? In the hope that we will come across. A DIckENs OF A JOKE “Where does Nipp keep his flask of In the bookcase, behind ‘Great Ex- pectations.’ ” I bet when it’s empty, he sticks it in ack of ‘Bleak House’! a a Enthusiastic Friend (to father of a |. why does a stork stand on day)—Congratulations, old man, on the . happiest occasion of your life! eae a Father of a day (delightedly)—Well, Well, if he pulls the other one up welll” How did you hear Vid got that fall.” clinker out of the furnace? comicbooks.com