Judge — March 22, 1924 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WHY I AM A $50 A YEAR MAN lOURAGE is an impermanent thing. This morning I went to look for work. Chock-full of courage was I. I rac energy; my eye flashed fire; a thousand ready retorts were packed neatly under my tongue. I was pep- ful, cheeky, brazen. It was my intention to breeze into the office of my em- ployer-elect, throw my hat onto his clothes tree, then pily make the following announce- ment to him: am twenty- rs old; have a high school and college education; know all about your business; salary be- ing no object, seek only anominal wage; do not drink, smoke, chew nor swear; and I live with my par- ents! Shall I start now to put your affairs in order or do you prefer that I should begin after lunch?”. . . Where- at I pictured the great financial baron clasping me to his bosom, and crying at the same time, “At last, the very man I have been looking for all these years!” But this is what really happened. I left my house cheeky, pepful, brazen. 1 boarded the train. Somehow with the motion of the car, a little of the courage trickled from me... . } I changed for the subway. ‘The sub- | me: Perhaps, after all, it might be better to show the gentleman a little deference. . . . “Mr. Goldfogle,’ I | murmured hoarsely to a snub-nosed boy, when at length I stood within the outer pre- cincts of the money-magnate’s office. ‘The boy took my card into the sanc- tum sanctorum; then emerged again. “Mr. Goldfogle says to wait,” he announced, IN THIS NUMBER- By Aunt Patience. By’One Yiho Knows.” (i t THE AUTO-MANIAC IMPKINS sat erect at the wheel, as we sped through the rolling coun- try in his new roadster. I glanced en- raptured at the passing scenery, “Gad, there’s a mountain that is a mountain!” I enthused. “Those bits of cloud sailing over the crags—” “That was a » just passed us,” said Simpkins. how easy she accelerates?” “What a pretty little farmhouse!” I went on. “Did you notice the trailing nasturtiums — grow- ing up over the fresh eggs sign?” “Good gosh!” he ejaculated. “Lookit that) new Quick! Four-wheel _ brakes . body by Hun- “Handsome bit of lake. All the canoes...” “Mormon!Ninety an hour e: terribly expensive, though. I'm gonna turn this in for one sometime... .” *...and the little bungalows, and the men fishing, and the children on — the beach ...° I stopped abruptly; his: face | had assumed a look | of ecstasy. | “Aroma Single | Six!” he breathed, us the heavy ear bore toward us. “Get those lines! Ain't. she qu Complete flexibil- “Look out, man!” I screamed. “Care- “22. twenty miles to a gallon... disc wheels . . way was extremely depressing. Exit a little more courage. I did not feel in the subway that it would be quite proper to patronize the great financial baron; rather I should treat him as an equal. Then I left the subway, and walked to the baron’s place of business. With each step this thought grew stronger in Impossible Magazine Covers I waited. Two hours I waited. ‘Then and there, in that office and those two hours, all the courage I ever had or shall have, oozed slowly but. surely through the heels of my boots. I felt utterly miserable. I wished I were dead. (Continued on page 31) sk oe * He untangled himself painfully from the engine, and aised a smeared face at me over the remains of the hood. “Did you see it, old) man?” he murmured hoarsely, “traffic transmission, hy- draulic brakes, balloon tires and runs on ethyl ga Corey Forp. comicbooks.com