Judge, 1924-02-16 · page 13 of 36
Judge — February 16, 1924 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page contains humor typical of 1920s-era Judge magazine. The "Fifty-Fifty Contest" announces a competition where readers submit clever rejoinders to opening lines. The winning entry—a man saying "I'd go through fire for you!" met with "What a silly ash you'd be!"—plays on the double meaning of "ash" (residue from fire). The beach scene joke relies on class commentary: "Mrs. Smythe-Jones" wearing "half mourning" suggests she's pretending to grieve while vacationing, mocking upper-class affectation. "Hints for the Frugal Swain" satirizes penny-pinching courtship advice, suggesting walks are free entertainment and cheap poetry substitutes for diamonds—poking fun at working-class or Depression-era dating tactics and male stinginess. The dramatic story fragment "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" appears to be either parody or genuine pulp fiction common to the era. The humor assumes readers understood early 20th-century dating conventions, class distinctions, and period slang.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
"Tissccond ine, in the opinion of the Editors of June, was the el est submitted, and the prize has been awarded to Mr. J. Pi of Manchester, N. H. Of the submitted almost 10,000 were »to Hell!” or words to that effect. Some of the other popular answers were: Percy—I'd go through fire for you! Phyllis—What a silly ash you'd be! Fifty-fifty Contest No. 1. “See father.” “T don’t care for baked fish!” “Don't put yourself out.” “Hot dog!” “You will if you marry me.” “Fire when ready, Gridley!” Announcement of the winner of No. 2 will be made next week Grand Duke. Gladys (in beach chair)—That’s Mrs. Smythe-Jones with the Reggie—Isn’t she in mourning? “Half mourning, I should say.” “Ir Was a Dark Nicut™ AND STORMY J corte have sworn that Thad heard pistol shots—three of them followed by a prolonged cry. of horror that pierced to the very mar- row of my bones, From afar off, seemingly, came the wail of whimpering wail, -stricken mother whose child has been torn from her by a brute. LT looked out of the window of the old house into the night, black, heavy, starless, then suddenly rent by a blinding flash of Was that the ghastly F atic that. filled : thing flash afening burst of thunc and the di My nerves were on edge. I hac been sitting there, waiting, waiting, for—how long? ... Only twenty minutes by my watch, but it had seemed hours. An unearthly howl filled the room and, instinctively, I covered my cars. Then, like sun- light bursting through a fog, came the strains of an old song. In spite of the heavy static, 1 succeeded in’ picking up Si WHN. E. M. Certs. Hints FoR THE FRUGAL Swain 1. Walk her after, not before, meals. — Post-prandial ambulations aid digestion. . At coy mention of coming ball (For Plutocrats Only), look uncon- cerned. They adore indifference. 3. When in doubt, walk her. 4. If girl says, “Let's go some- where.” tell her, “No—let’s stay in. Such remarks demonstrate pen- chant for domesticity. unquestionable eligib bandship. 5. But when in doubt, walk her. 6. At critical gift-making seasons, appease her with poem stolen from old bard. Instead of a diamond, send her a dithyramb., Kind words are more than coronets. 7. Shun the theater, the lobster joint, and the thé dansant. Test her love by taking her nowhere. 8. Treat her—not at all. Girl that really loves you, wou't want to be treated. and. prove for hus- 9. If, after such wooing, girl still lets you stick around—better marry the miracle, and give her love in a palace. She will deserve it. Cyrut B. Ecan. Pity Her Sarah—T had a nut sundae. Clara—I have one calling to-night. comicbooks.com