Judge — January 26, 1924 — page 33: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

bead coin and Jugo-Slav jitney. Jovially sticks finger in conductor's ribs which causes conductor to jerk down release of coin trap. Thrifty gentleman and party go forward with an air of having slain dragons Street urchin slips in. fixes him with gleaming e1 Street Urchin—Aw, say wanna go coupla blocks. (Ten blocks later). Conductor (to street urchin) rry, sonny, you'll have to get off or pay. Street Urchin (taking paper from bundle, drop in a jit for me and I give ya dis pap Conductor sighs and does as instructed. (Business of grinding out slugs, ete.) Street Urchin (terror-stricken)—Aw, my Gawd, you done runned over a man. Conductor whirls to peer out. Street urchin inserts hand in coin box and dives out car with handful nickels. (Conductor gives chase until exhausted.) Returns to car to hear voices lowered like fog horns saying rather uncompli- mentary things of conductor. Block later. Conductor pulls paper from pocket, ae at headline, then date. Two weeks old. Gnashes teeth. Flapper—Please, sir, will you let me off at the beaded bag sale?” (rolls her melting orbs.) Conductor—I'm _ sorry, young lady, but I didn’t know there ieaded bag sale. Flapper—Here it is, but I haven't lived here long. (Pro- duces paper.) As they search for the name of the store, conductor is spun around by arm. Plump Lady—A man just told me we passed my street two blocks back. Oh, if I were a man, you wretch, you—(Conductor leaves car and ' hides behind garbage can until plump lady has stormed away.) Enter woman dressed @ la semi-mascu- line holding open parasol. Conductor dodges. Conductor—Please, miss, will you close your parasol? Semi-Masculine (vehemently)—I am no miss; this umbrella is no parasol, and if you think you can close the damn thing go to it. (Conductor struggles with umbrella.) Pokes small boy in ey Runs rib through cloth. Shrinks under Withering gaze of owner. Closes umbrella, and masculine lady goes forward, taking seat with little man and garden tools. Belligerent man starts to get off and small boy poked in eye retaliates for poke by pulling two bells. Belligerent man lands on his ear, and chases car three blocks, frothing at mouth, Small boy is found sitting in mother’s lap. Little man with rake, hoe, et cetera, makes break for door. Various handles take their toll of hats and heads. Little man makes a safe landing amidst grand ean and rattle and glorious confusion. Car proceeds, Masculine Lady (in a shriek)— him! Stop him! Conductor disen her arms from about his neck. “Stop who?” he pants. “The big brute who took my umbrella, he stole it, right with him, You saw him carry it off. You shall pay me for it (folding arms and stamping foal), I believe you are in cahoots.” Conductor falls off backward into uttering through tw itching lips: Conductor now I just | | ret Curray —Earl Taylor. I charles Hughes Voice from Aloft — Hey, Jimmie Monk! C'mon up an’ listen in! Hotter Sitting Why did the burning deck boy choose To stand upon his feet? Because the lad had thic Than he had trouser seat. —Weekly Telegraph. shoes sae “You're the breath of my life, Dear Caroline,” the ardent lov: She looked at him with a roguish e “But you don’t hold your breath, sighed. cried. she —Pearson’s Weekly. sae Tommy—My brother made ugly faces at you yesterday, and you didn’t dare to fight. You pretended you didn't notice Jacky—I didn’t, either. I thought they were natural!—Pearson’s Weekly. 31 Unless you see the package or on tablets you are not getting the genuine Bayer Aspirin proved safe by millions and _prese ribed by physicians over twenty-three y Colds He Poothache Rheumatism Pain, Pain of Aspirin” only. ge cont proven ly boxes of twelve tablets cost few cents. Druggists also sell bottles of 24 and 100. Aspirin is the trade mai of Bayer Manufacture of Monoaceticaci- cst vr of Salicylicacid, ppg 850t0$100 aWeek | saits and overcoats men to wearer. All one price $31 60. al iece summer suits $21 60. Wonderful values. rrotected territers. Commissions in advance, Write. PSON, Inc. Dep 709 843 W. Adams St., Chicago | |The Safety Automatic A hard-hitting 7 sho Accept.‘ Each unbroken directions. Handy blue steel gun. Full )) yh | length 434in, Shoots Na 25 cal. steel jacketed Mi bullets. TEN DAY: TRI We ship IC.O. D. plus postage. Better order today; joffer limited. Order No, B-1924 Free Catalogue. CHICAGO SUPPLY CO., 2455 Archer Ave., Chicago} | They all say GLOVER’S | does the Business sling hair. It surely does years Glover's has been making Il over the world | | 127-20 West 24th Street New York City Use PISO'S — this prescription quickly Pelieves children and adults. A pleasant syrup. No opiates. 35¢and 606 sizes sold everywhere