Judge — January 26, 1924 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

$498 RENE FREE To introduc quote these prices ace Price’ To, “INTRODUCE Ht Bay which fing you. 7 whe ‘On arrival, deposit price Bareeg a gotare fet a With postman. 78 dwelt Sell TIRES RECT FROM FACTORY ‘want an auto owner in each looal- Sys sdvertas asuvur Cord make big money and get You can your own sample "Tires Free, by seading us orders from friends ‘and neighbors. No capital o: ‘ed. We deliver & collect dire Tire Guarantee Ever 4 by Indemnt Armour Cords guarantee seainst, Blow Out, Wear Ir experience need- ct. Pay you dally. ‘Written ty and Tear, Stone tion, Biistering ‘Tread Separat! 824 Rim Cut for 12,500 miles, We are ‘ectual_m: ‘eela oeter: wo Roan an “ind iow iow sanguin tie & wusbeR CO, Dept 100 Cats, 0 ! DON’T WEAR, A TRUSS | RESouFoRrapLe— fear rool iance, the modern. scientific invention which er rupture sufferers immediate zee it has no obnoxious springs oF ‘Automatic Air Cushions bing| ether the broken Nonaives or plasters, Durable, ‘to prove its worth. ware of imitations. Look for and signature of C. B. Appliance. None other genuine, it ft pent free in plaidy De Dan MR, C. E. BROOKS trade-mark bearing portrait ‘Brooks which appears-on evel Hf fatormation, ‘BROOKS APPLIANCE CO., 371 Stato Sto Marshall, Mich. coin, for remarkable 257 W. Legs,safely quickly ot paln, operation of discomfort withyorr Straitoer,’ y work, belng worn at hy lodel 18, U.S. Ps Practical Information all Send 10¢ tetay Samet ot ed catalog. wating ite Wt In this ‘country. sex matters 10° Tist St. Appearance ls how more than wer the ke ight itsreault will save you soon from further humillatios and Improve your personal appearance 100 per Write today for my free copyria! natomical book which tells ¥% | nd Knock-kneed legs without Your part. Enclose a dime for post: nt ihted physiological ‘ou _how to correct any obligation on age. New wt | | THE STREET DOG FANCIER WHO COULDN’T FIND A PURCHASER Six months. —Passing Show. 30 Why Street Car Conductors Go Mad A Drama tv One Act E arRIVEs at car barn whistling blithely, a carnation in his lapel. Greets his motorman cheerily and hums Mendelssohn's “Spring Song” as they begin the day’s run. Later Same Day Plump lady drops five pennies and a button in coin box despite conductor's frantic efforts to restrain her. (She, angrily) “You sheik, please stop trying to hold my hand. I shall certainly report such brazen impudence.” (Business of grinding out the pennies and buttons.) Enter one lawn mower, rake, hoe and shovel, half barrel of lime and garden hose followed by little skinny man, who parks himself and companions in aisle beside coin box. Conductor purples in face and little skinny man assures him as he hangs hose on air gauge, “Oh, that’s s all right. I'm only going a little way: Plump lady arises, middle of block. Rushes to conductor excitedly: “I wanted to get off here.” Stop. Plump lady exits, falling over hoe handle and out into street. She recovers herself, and begins to take car number, threatening to vthing and everybody to high Little man hangs head sheep- ishly and starts forward with impedimenti. Rake tears off cuff of conductor's trousers, and as he pulls bell to start, plump lady makes frantic grab for moving car. Con- ductor risks his neck to heave her aboard and she fixes him with a malignant eye. “Why did you put me off here when you knew it was the wrong street?” Conduc- tor fall ed, against r: Enter large, belligerent man and tenders transfer dated last month. Conductor calls his attention: sten, bo, that transfer was put out to-day,” (shoves fist into conductor's face) “ ” Conductor sees. Enter bull terrier on ¢ fat man of fifty. Dog 1 a few times while fat man of fifty ‘extracts nickel from depth of pocket briefease, and when car starts conductor falls (from knees up) on floor and space. Business of unchaining himself, while the dog barks joyfully. Halfway up hard hill’ when garden hose breaks string and_writhes out of door. Business of waiting until little man has recaptured hose. Tourist—Does this car go to the mu- seum? “Yes, madam, end of the line.” “But I don’t want to go to the end of the line, I want to go to the museum. Please give me my fare back.” “But. madam, this car goes to the museum.” “But how can it? You said it went to the end cf the line Conductor loses patience. (Sarcastically), “‘Madam, when we come to where there ain't no more rail, where the car can’t go no further, that’s the end of the line. And there is the asylum, I mean museum, and the end of the line.” (Turns his back quickly and sticks fingers in his ears.) Enter thrifty gentleman with party. (Thrifty gentleman has recently given up hobby of collecting foreign’ coins.) Thrifty gentleman directs conductor's attention to. fight that isn’t and drops in Russian kopeck, Hottentot slug, Chinese bead coi sticks fi causes ¢ coin tra go forw dragons Street fixes hir Street wanna § (Ten street u to get of Street bundle) eva. ond (Busine Street Gawd, Cond Stree’ and div (Condu Retur like fog mentary Block from pi date. Flap; Booff at | melting young | beaded but I duces | name around just tol blocks | wretch, hides b lady ha Ente line ho dodges you clos Semi- no miss if yout go to umbrell Runs ri Witherir and ma seat. wi Belliger boy pol pulling on his « frothing sitting | Little makes | take th man mi: clank a Car pro Masi him! her aru who?” took m him. pay me foot), I Cond mutteri hoots— comicbooks.com