Judge — January 5, 1924 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Worm Turns, a Bit The Gas Miser Corp., Detroit, Mich. Dear Sirs: Thave just received your graphic and not inartistic folder offering your novel invention for increasing the mileage of my flivver 26 per cent. and decreasing my gasoline consumption 43 per cent., F. 0. B., Detroit. While I appreciate your interest in my motorized welfare I do not believe I should avail myself of your remarkable proposition at this time. For your in- formation I might say that I now have cighty-seven (87) devices installed on my car, each one of which is positively guaranteed to increase my mileage and reduce my from 16 to 98 per cent., net, 30 d. I bought a gallon of gasoline on February 16 last. which should run me until July 4 next year, and when I step firmly on my accelerator I can make up to 727 miles per hour with dignified ease and modest security. With your gas miser I might be able to do a little better and I would like to hav but to be frank with you, I simply haven't room for it. My pr is pretty well cluttered up, as it is. I can't get the hood covers down any more, and its topography, to any- one who is at all fastidious about ap- pearances, is rather grotesque. I have given some serious thought, however, to a plan for doing away with the engine entirely. If I should make this move, of course, I will then be in a position to take advantage of your marvel of the century. As further encouragement to you I can say that my flivver, although not exactly a late model (being purchased at arummage sale three years ago), has attracted the attention of several curio dealers who have made me some flattering offers on it. If I decide to sell and buy a new one I will get in touch with you at once. I trust you will feel that my decision reflects in no way on the merit of your contribution. I do not doubt your figures, nor have I anything against you personally. But I do believe that for the present at least, I should be left to my own devices. With kindest personal regards, I remain, The Wreckee—I say, get me out of this, won't you? Scientific Golfer—Sorry, but I really can’t. You see, I’ve come away without my niblick. Accessorily yours, (Signed) Dearsorn DuNnHAM Scunoor. ‘Twin Corners. —Chet Shafer ere Mrs. Dyer—What became of your Trish cook Mrs. Ryer—She took French leave. sae i pli on Mrs. Kriss—Has your church decided what to do about the poor this year? Mrs. Kross—Not as yet. "There's no hurry, however, as the Lord said that they would always be with us. As it seems after you’ve had one summons. comicbooks.com