Judge — December 15, 1923 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ings aus ed he me ist An or ed in m “Own Your Own Word” Professor Blotter Tackles. the by Corey Ford Thesaurus Jroressor Bu R of Columbia Uni- versity, whose efforts to discover why chop suey houses are always located on second floor recently turned all eyes in his direction, declares that he has reached the climax of his career in his latest invention. Once it is on the market, Blotter confided in me, the entire problem of finding the right: word to use in-an embarrassing situation will be quite done away with. Professor Blotter’s plan, in brief, calls for the manufacture of a great number of new words, with which he plans to meet the current vocabulary shortage. People who know exactly what they mean but ‘an’t seem to express what they want _ will be enabled to purchase a new private conversational stock. In fact, if his invention is at all successful, the the scientific ust to ed scientist: plans to let loose a great the quantity. of unattached words on ket. for people to put their own to. “Think,” says Blotter, owning three or four words of your which you can force to me: thing you want them to at any time. When I called upon him at his Co- lumbia laboratories recently, he led me into a,sound-proof vault and locked and bolted the door. When he had stuffed all the cracks, he labeled, “Just: Beautiful.” and then solemnly turned to me. he said. He paused a moment. quint.” he added. “For use in motion picture publicit offices, and in girls’ boarding schools, he whispered. We moved silently to the next drawer with the label: ‘Perms of Epithet and own, drew it open, *Lish,”” “Ex- He Reproach.” took out three words proudly. “Serumpet,”” he said, fondling the little thing softly, “and ‘Pone,” and he lifted the third one onto his shoulder affectionately dd *Grusk.” or politi npaigning.”” he explained; ny opponent would curl up and wither if he were called a ‘scrumpet’ or a ‘grusk’ out of a clear sky. His last exhibit. was brief. compartment: “He said laughingly “He said angrily.” the produced two: “He churklec From the lirrmpfed.” “For novelists and_ poets,” explained Blotter, as we tiptoed out. of the vault and it locked behind us. “And now what do you think of my invention?” he asked, rubbing his hands. “Beyond resensifaction!” jared moment's delibet “Posi- : abatable!” I knew the professor would have no trouble in finding a satis- factory meaning to my remark. “Youlessness”’ by Lucia Trent A FAMOUS POET once declared, 4% To part was just to die a bit, And since I've had to leave you, dear, I'm perfectly convinced of it. I don’t care how things may turn out, The world may go and have a fit, It's just this dreadful youlessness That makes me think I’ve died a bit! given | tiptoed to a drawer | Sold— “She is yours, Master’’— muttered the trembling slave-dealer. Sick at heart the crouching girl ard the dreadful) bargain and hated her beauty for having brought her to this fate. 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