Judge — December 15, 1923 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

\\ Yy | Y SN Yj is apple-sauce for the goose. nickel and had failed to receive a satis- y number would receive in its place of chocolate or a musical selection or something? 1 also believe that everyone would be more than satisfied if the names of all the exchanges were exchanged. Then if a person called Morningside 2468, he might re Succotash 1234, and that might be the exact number he was looking for. If it wasn’t, he could hold a con- versation with the party at the other end of the line, anyway. In this way a lot of people, who otherwise would have no opportunity for getting acquainted, would get to know each other. Surely, there could be no harm in that. Furthermore, I am of the opinion that much profanity that ordinarily goes to waste could be utilized by substituting expletives for the names of the exchanges. Then a person could give vent to his emotions and call a number at the same time. Ring off. ae M Nupop—Something has upset the . Lean't get him to sleep. Nupop—I told you not to let him hear that bedtime story on the radio. ee One touch of Christmas makes all men kin— Everything going out and nothing coming in. A man never realizes what a complete failure he is, until his wife reminds him of his courtship promises! tote “They were marricd on a boatand then it started to leak.” “TD see—marricd and settled down.” “God rest ye, merry gentlemen, let nothing you dismay!” 13 Internal Heat by William Sanford “rupee are a lot of very saving hotels in some of these small bu * Tre. marked to my friend Tinker, after telling him of various stopping places [had met up with where the radiators could as well have been used for refrigerators. “That's nothing to a place [hit up in Snoblow, Minn.,” replied Tinker. “There was not even a radiator ino my room although the thermometer stood six- icen below zero. All T found was a small bottle of tabasco sauce on a table near the bed, with a pewter teaspoon beside it. On a card pinned to the wall, which was evidently a duplicate of that used for other rooms was this instruction: “Take one spoonful of the sauce after you get into bed. If you require a great deal of heat take two spoonsful!’ ” Raa Lady of the House (after outlining the usual duties to Kitty Byker, applicant for housemaid position)—I also belong to a bridge club which I entertain month and I should expect you to serve the refreshments on these occasions. Kitty Byler (gratefully) —Oh, madam, I'm so glad you only want me to wait on table; I don't play bridge.” rey Adkins once a by Wm. S I' ALL the world were apple pie And all the seas were ink, We'd have nice eating, by the by, And after what most of us try Could even stand the drink. 2 The Conval Did you have my brown suit cleaned and pressed while was in the hospital? His Wife—No. Thad your black suit fixed up. [ thought that would be better in case anything should happen. post Her Suitor— go to the dogs. Her Sire—Just stick around here a few minutes longer and you won't have to go to the dogs. V'll turn ‘em loose and the dogs'll go to you. tat ou reject me I'll simply Crawford—Have a good Christma Crabshaw—Better than 1 expected. Some one gave the family next door a new set of phonograph records. erry “So vou got a year off for good be- havior?” “Yes, sir; you see I didn’t steal a thing while Twas in jail.” ts Madge—Did you get Christinas presents? Marjorie—Only under the mistletoe. Per) Harriett—Plenty of check, has she? Agatha—Yes, she borrows our. tele- phone to invite guests to a party, and doesn’t include us in the invitations. any duplicate comicbooks.com