Judge — November 3, 1923 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Oscar—Why do you always buy your clothes on the installment plan? Oswald—They try to give me stuff that will last until the installments are paid.—Princeton Tiger. rer A Contribution from Chaucer ND WHAN they woke, it was so thikke fogge, You could not sce a hors, nor eke a dogge, For every thynge was shrouded up in myste, A man might wonder if his wyf hee kyst; And so in greete confucion, fear, and doubte Som kyst on faith and som they withoute. did —Tufts Tuf-Tonic. tae Weak Eyes—I want a pair of strong spectacles. I’ve just had a very painful experience that I don’t want to repeat. Oculist—Did you take a stranger for an acquaintance? “Worse than that. I took a bumble- bee for a berry.”—Notre Dame Juggler. tat Indignant Tenant—I’ve burned ten tons of coal in this house, but I can never get it warm. Bland Owner—Ah, sir, what do you expect of a fireproof house?—California Pelican. PAF We once knew a frosh that was so polite he'd knock on the door of his own room before entering.—Oklahoma Whirl- wind. Rural free delivery. —Toronto Goblin. Incubus I NEVER had the happiness Of havin’ a nice maw; T had a lamp to keep me warm When winds blew rough and raw. I ‘uz brought up in a barnyard so I never had a chance To ever learn to live at ease In perfect elegance. No wonder that [ look unkept, And feel a perfect hick; But please, dear friend, remember I'm an incubator chic! —Denison Flamingo. sae Stude—Talk about deep things. Why we've a well home that’s so deep that we can’t touch bottom, in fact, I don’t think it has any bottom. Stewed—Thrash leak?— funny. Doesn’t it Dartmouth Jack 0” Lantern. Fae At the table—Well, : date to-night with the keenest woman in college. Chorus of thirty voice =-Oregon Lemon Punch. ttt Josh—Wal, Hiram, what good did it do to have your son take high finance at college? Hiram—I dunno, unless it taught him how to water stock—Washington Sun Dodger. ott Tro LITTLE FLEAS together sat And one to the other said, T have no place to hang my hat Since my old dog is dead. I’ve traveled this world from place to place And further will I roam, But the first darn dog that shows his face Will be my home sweet home. —Chicago Phoenix. fellows, I have a | No, you haven't. | ARTHUR MURRAY The Vanderbilt's Instructor ‘Invents NEW WAY to Teach Dancing nd wants to dance with the person There's no need to envy Five Dancing Lessons Free To prove you can learn any step und all of A mailing, handling, etc. Arthur Murray Studio 922 290 Broadway _ New York Wie AUInE. Book FREE send roc. Diamonds Here at 60% of Market Price The Buys of a Lifetime Never in three-quarters of a century in the diamond business, have we offered such bargains as we do now compared in regular ‘opportunity of a lifetime. prices. market ‘Diamonds right now at rock-bottom even ‘Yet ours are but 60% of mark Buy now—the trend Ii wards. but, our diamond prices are based on un) monds left On our hands for a fraction of their real value. Why Pay Full Prices This diamond banking house $1,000, 000, i which money was lo Costs Nothing to See X century old, rated more than # turning into cash the diamonds on ed and not rej Also many bargain gems from other sources. See these bargains as the wisest buyers do. Send for Latest Bargain List nd minutely described. comicbooks.com