Judge — November 3, 1923 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

FOOTBALL RETURNS OVER THE RADIO by Robert Cyril O'Brien WING to a slight cold we thought it advisable not to attend the grid- iron classic. Instead we would hear it play by play over the radio. Un- fortunately, the radio operators inthe family (those geniuses who by deft manip- ulation of something or other are able to get anything they desire) were not around the house on the afternoon of the big game, so we had to do our best without them. As the game was scheduled to start at 3 pM. we took our seat in front of the outfit. at fifteen minutes of the hour, determined not to be late even by radio. After monkeying with the wotchacallit for about twenty minutes we finally arrived at the grounds in time to hear that The crowd is cheering wildly. “Tub- by” Tubbs, the Pink’s star plunger, has just hit the line for a gain. The Black and Blue, true to tradition, are fighting gamely. A gentleman in Section G has just extracted a bottle from his hip pocket. Before putting — the bottle to his lips, he tells an inquiring special cop that the bottle contains cough medicine. The ball is now on the ten-yard line. It looks as if the Pink’s warriors are due to make a touchdown, A northern breeze seems to have hit a portion of the stadium —everyone in Section G is coughing. Aiken Payne, the brilliant Pink end, has just fumbled a forward pass. Arniker, Black and Blue’s one best bet, falls on the ball and his neck simultaneously. “Sig” Zagg, whom experts call the greatest player that ever stepped on an opponent’s ear, breaks through the line and carried the ball . . . to his cozy little home in the old chestnut tree in Farmer Fossil’syard. She—What makes the grass so burned? He—Just language! Smart Willie Skunk, however, was not the one to be fooled by such a simple ol” trick. He would hi and wait until Philip Fuzzytail decided to... touch the floor without bending the knees. Then, grasp the chandelier with both hands and lift, the body until... Tubbs) rushes: across the line for the first touchdown in what will go down in history as the fiercest gridiron fracas of the twentieth century. W:* THOUGHT it would be nice to hear some music during the halves so we left the scene of combat and tried to tune in on some good jazz. In this we were quite success- ful. But, when it came time to return to the stadium, we discovered that we had evidently mislaid our return check, or there was too much static or tobacco smoke or something in the air. After much perseverance we discovered the entrance only to find that The score now stands at Lt to 12 in favor of... Mr. Warble, the famous tenor, with Miss Rose Budd at ~» Wh the cheering of the crowd as tempts to kick... the slats out of an old bed. Nail them together, fill the cracks with putty and... squawh .. and breathe deeply. If this conscientiously each morn- ing you will find yourself much improved in’ health within a short space of time. Nature demands nothing except - tree-climbing. Fuzzytails like to do that very much. But Philip was not like the other members of his family. ee played winning football and are to be congratulated for their — wonderful showing. Alto- gether it was a fine game, one that will linger in the mem- ories of the specta- tors. This con- , cludes our pro- gram for this after- noon. Horace the piano. . you hear now is iyne a you do comicbooks.com