Judge — September 29, 1923 — page 33: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

of nt — Very Angry Southern Colonel (upon discovering the loss of his hat)— Pa’don me, suh, I was under the im- pression, suh, you were sitting on my hat. ttt treating the matter sort of light’ and asking for a itemized statement because he thinks it’s been paid once. This holds it up a couple of weeks longer, when he gets a letter telling him that they sent him the statement which he asked for but to date ain’t wore out no cash register keys ringing up any remittances from him. At this point he can always. stall off another two weeks by writing them that he has been out of town on business and just got their letter that morning, which he is gomg over with the stubs in_ his check book. By the end of this time it is always good form to drop them a note stating that due to sickness his wife has been laid up with, he has neglected to take care of the trifling matter, but will do so by the first of the month. That brit him up to June or thereabouts, when vaca» tions start up and supply bookkeepers is being worked at the stores who don’t take so much interest in things as the regulars who is familiar with the accounts. If the worst does actually come to the worst, he can generally borrow $5. and send it to them on account, which relieves the pressure and paves the way for a whole new cycle of pro- cedure similar to — that which was went through to get the five. But like all systems, this one, good as it is, has its weak point. That's the lighting company. Folks who know the ropes don’t try it out on them because it won’t function. Them birds will break into the cellar and shut the gas off on you right in the mid- dle of am being cooked if they ain’t paid by the But outside of ying instances 2 man has got patience and will power they ain’t no reason on earth why he has to get a fifteenth. doing now? “Begorra! have things he wants like other people has. AIH The Real Coolidge—Revealed Through His Utterance by Robert C. O'Brien “Wi! Lu, if it Smith.” come to Pilgrims 1620 (or was it 1 We have met the enemy and they are excited.” From speech at opening of World’s ‘Tailend Championship, Boston, 1920. “Twinkle, twinkle little star How I wonder what you are! Up above the world So high Like a diamond in the sky Declamation delivered bi ulty and student body of s 1, Boston, 1876. wo lumps. please.” Remark at’ Professional Sword Swallow- rquet, Walla Walla, Wash., isn’t Captain John From address of wel- Boston, 5 o'ck ‘ore fae- Primary ers Wednesd “Ouch! Mr. Coolidge upon the laying of the corner stone at v "York City, 1843, Da, ” First words ever by the thirtieth President of the States. I think so.” The now famous reply to Marshal Foch’s equally tion, “Comment portez-vous?” “Gosh!” Mr. Coolidge’s exclamation upon hearing a radio for the first time. Casual remark accredited to asion of the Aquarium, utte United AMOUS ques- tot Visitor (from city)—This radio broad- casting is a wonderful invention Farmer—Huh! ‘That's nothing. of a great redemption. Editor—Well, [ fail to see where it con- redeemin, Supervisor of Moving Crew—What are you two Mike—Carrying this trunk out to the van. “What trunk? Now, we've forgotten the trunk!” 31 raise in pay just so’s he can afford to ! We've | She Found A Better Way To Reduce Her Fat She did not have to go to the trouble of diet, exercise or unpleas- ant greases and salves. She found a better way, which aids the digestive organs to turn food into muscle, bone and sinew instead of fat. She used Marmola Prescription Tablets, which are made from the famous Marmola prescription. They aid the digestive system to obtain the full nutriment of food. They will allow you to eat many kinds of food without the necessity of dieting or exercising. Thousands have found that the Marmola Prescription Tablets give complete relief from obesity. And when the accumulation of fat is checked, reduction to normal, healthy weight soon follows. All good drug stores the world over sell Marmola Prescription Tablets at one dollar a box. Ask your druggist for them, or order direct’ and they will be sent in plain wrap- per, postpaid, MARMOLA COMPANY 284 Garfield Bldg., Detroit, Mich, SWitHoUT: “cost” atonce Reduce Your Waist in 10 Seconds to accomplish t duction and to t immediate relief BEFORE fatigue and know the satis And, be Then & places it. Ina month Po 6 inches off your w WONDER" HEALTH BE ethings. It is scientifically ¢ i, Meht-welght fabric. — I Justed and easily Washed. TRY IT AT OUR RISK |