Judge — August 25, 1923 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

STORIES TO TELL bd Street, New York City’ Second Prize { Great gathering of churchmen had £% been in session in the city of Denver for about ten days, and the porter in one of the hotels made this remark to a traveling man who had inquired as to | the convention. } “Yassuh, boss,” the darky commented, “dis bunch of preachers is sure different from most folks wat comes to Denver for conventions. Dey blew into dis town with a copy of de ten command- : ments in one pocket and a ten dollah bill in the other, and we porters don’t believe that dey have broken cither of them ye Ree A sas getting a shoe shine was enter- *% tained by a discussion of the fine- of touch between the proprietor of the place and his co-worker, hoth colored. ‘The proprictor was toy- ing with the money in the cash register, ness of the sense and boasted that he could tell the value of any coin merely by feeling it. The shine boy merely grunted and remarked: “Dat’s nothin’ atall. OF Bill Jones has the greatest sense of touch I ever was both porters on the at . an’ T was havin’ my first run with Bill, Late at night IT woke up, not knowin’ whah ah wuz, so a says to Bill: ‘Bill, wher is us. Bill jes’ stuck his han’ out de winder and pulled it in and says: | [-— ‘We're going through Fort Madison.” tote in, Who cooked — | for a white family but re- | turned to her own numerous progeny at night, had just come home from her place of work and was extracting sundry parcels from various parts of her dress when a neighbor dropped in for a sociable chat. The latter, after watching the process of extraction ome time, finally remarked: “Your new mistus must be mighty gen- crous. You all got enough food COLORED Wor “that the Yankees get on well_in business, while many Englishmen fail?” “Brains, my boy!” was the reply. “You should eat more fish. Give me five dollars and Tl get) you some of the fish that my wife gets for me. Eat it and see how you get on. The Englishman parted with his tohim. Next day he met the Yank again, “How did you get) on?” the Yankee asked. “Well, it was splendid fis “Do you feel any different?” “No, Tean’t say I ent.” said the “but five dollars was a lot for a piece of fish, wasn't it?” ‘There you are!” ‘said the Yank. brain is beginning to work five dollars and the fish was sent matters pertaining to real estate and never a word, Mr. Lincoln said: “Before they advised to consult a rising young lawyer named Abraham Lincoln. Arriving in Springfield the young men were repaired to the office of Mr. Lincoln and spread their business before him at some length. After hearing them through, during which time he spoke this parrot talks he must. first) know where the cracker comes from.” reel was pe SILVER-TONGUED orator claiming before the Hicksville veter- ans. His speech was replete with glowing but ancient’ metaphors and colorful references to the fh vaN WSPEenuL | saavis: | “How proudly she waves over this beautiful camp ground,” shouted the speaker. “But she ought to wave over other lands, Why doesn’t she wave over Kataganzu, Lollapalooza, the Islands of Bazzazra? Why —" e * interrupted a small hey aren't ting as much wind as we g are on this camp ground.” Per Jrivate Most Jonxsox was spending his third day in the trenches and the rumor was about that his unit was to go over the top the next mornin, ‘Toward evening an officer of | Mose’s: there to last your family a wee! “Yes,” replied the other com- placently, “I does pretty well, what with what Missus Preston lets me have and what God gives me. re Wires Jay Cooke, the noted financier of Civil War days, was a young man, he : in company with’ an to Illinois to look up some legal was Sister Jones—one ob de pillows ob de chu’ch. iL company came upon the tall 1 darky standing on tiptoes looking out over the parapet. “What in the world you trying to do?” stormed the officer. “We wah de top in the mawnin “t we, sah?” . be “Well, sah, T’se jest tryin’ to get a little bullet-dodgin’ practice.”