Judge — August 11, 1923 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

How to Play Golf Er kick the ball when your oppo- nent is not lookin Throw it! It farther, ver question the other man’s score. He, too, may ask embarrassing questions. Be subtle! If in doubt, throw off something like this, “Yes, that par four of yours on the last hole was splendid. I particularly admired the sixth shot.” When you feel it’ incumbent upon yourself to deliver a specch on “The 92 shots I made this morning, in order and by name,” do so to the first. person you meet. Otherwise you wouldn't be a true golfer. Be an optimist! After getting a score of 105, crash through at the clubhouse with, “Not so good to- only could pull down a Yale Record. Welana “A Dutch treat.” —Penn. State Froth. s “T’m absolutely broke a cent. And so if any girl loves me now I will know that it is for myself alone, not for what I possess. If I find such a girl you bet Fil marry her as quickly as I can get a license—provided she has enough money to support us both.”—Princeton Tiger. Rated T haven't got Social—He is one of the most altruistic men I know. Service—What has he been doing now? “He spent all of the afternoon telling hair-raising stories to a couple of bald- headed men.—Dartmouth Jack-o-Lantern. toast When a husband comes home late he should blame it on business (the first time); apologize (the time lie (the third time); and remove his shoes at the door (the fourth time).— Towa Green Gander. second WITH THE COLLEGE WITS Irrepressible, Joyous, Irresponsible Ask Dad Old Lady—Why, I am shocked! You are smoking. Little Fellow—What do you think Tam doing? “Don't you know that a little fellow such as you should not smoke? It. will do you harm.” “That's all right, lady; Tam used to it now.” “You rettes.” “T use a cigarette holder.” “You had better come along should keep away from ciga- with me. srry, lady, IT am waiting for the “Brown Jug. tots The Cut Direct Is pays of old, when knights were bold, Two loved a maid whose heart was cold. They met and had a long palaver. And just to see which one should haver. They held a hard-boiled fencing bout And tried to cut each other out. —Washington Sun Dodger. ttt “T see that a nine-year-old girl is a successful writer of popular songs.” “I think I have heard a good many written by her.” —Toronto Goblin. a | “Where you going? “Up to visit a friend of mine.” “How long you gonna stay?” “One permanent wave."”—Georgia Tech. Yellow Jacket. 23 se HAT are you studying now?” asked Mrs. Johnson. “We have taken up the subject of molecules,” answered the son. “IT hope you will be very attentive and practice constantly,” said the mother. “I tried to get your father to wear one, but he could not keep it in his eye.”—Columbia Jester. Secret service. —West Virginia Moonshine. toe Yo all have met her, I'm sure, The girl with a single line, Who looks at you with soulful eyes So that thrills go up your spine. You've danced with her at every prom, A nifty little wren, Who always says, as another cuts in, “Oh, do cut in again.” —Williams Purple Cow. Fae —Heard that you were engaged. —Yeah—two weeks, od her yet?” Yo, but I'think I could."—Chicago Phoenix. tot Oolong—Did you see that girl cross her legs? Java—Yes, but hasn’t she got a perfect right? “Sure, and a peach of a left."—Notre Dame Juggler. sat She—Do you remember when you were first struck by my beauty? He—I think so. n't it at the masked ball?—N. C. Boll Weevil. comicbooks.com