Judge — August 11, 1923 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ONY . “What does that sign say?” “Stop the engine, so I can read it.” Steps Should Be Taken (Continued from page 13) T° ILLUSTRATE the point by contrast, consider Gertie the second girl, while enjoying a brie ion at Swamp Lake. Entering the pavilion devoted among other things to the vending of post cards, she painstakingly selects one portraying the band stand situated some few feet out in the water and con- nected to the mainland by _ several lengths of planking. With much moist- ening of the pencil, anchored to the show case by a string attached to a tack in the upper molding, she finally produces the following: “Dear Ethel—Am having a swell time. Wish you was here. Regards to Lottie and Al. (signed) Gert.” Unconsciously she has proven the theory; the one universal form. At the ‘other extreme observe the great captain of industry while en tour. In selecting his card he temporarily abandons that penetrating attention to detail so noticeable in his ordinary transactions, after which he unlimt and assembles his pen, the very pen by the way, whose written word has in the past caused exchanges, bourses and boards of trade to quake. Andy while the same pitalist may be the bane of every stenographer on his floor, because of the length and fluency of his ations, the lowly post eard exposes his limitations when he completes the following: “Dear Ed—Am having a wonderful trip. Wi ou were here. Remember me to the crowd.” Following this he may sign merely his first name or possibly his initials, except in the event that he is a family man of middle rs age or beyond and an ontstapding social leader, while the intended recipient of the card is not the least attractive mem- ber of a popular revue, in which case he may sign either “Daddy”—*Pappa”— or such other sensible and appropriate. name as would naturally suggest itself to a man of broad intellect and large responsibilities. HIS CONDITION scems credible in a pro- gressive age such as ours, when we hi schools, enabling one in a ridicu- lously brief number of printed lessons to detect and appre- hend — criminals through scientific scrutiny of finger prints, even after the perpetrator of the crime has baffled the de- tectives of sev- eral continents: When _ universi- ties can, by correspondence. educate the j tor of a bank to the point where he will be unani- mously chosen by the board of di- rectors to fill the vacancy caused by the late presi- dent having ab- sconded with the institution’s ne- 20 gotiable assets: When mail-order scenario colleges will, for a trifling tuition fee, place you ina similar position to that now occu- pied by Mrs. A—who until recently was but the poverty-stricken wife of Mr. A—a poorand thereforehonest garbi According to her own published testimony, good fortune to read the college vertisement, at which time and with much trepidation she mailed the attached coupon to Department “B™ as per instructions, thereby setting in/ motion an unbelievably simple train” of | pro- cedure culminating a few days later in her dashing off a scenario for which a famous movie producer paid her the magnificent sum of ten thousand dollars. An amount far in excess of her previous knowledge, and only: slightly less than her brother-in-law, a union bricklayer, ordinarily carned in a whole month. If all these things can be done, why must we be content with less, when the same system of education could, with slight Variations, be applied to our card writing? There can be but one tenable answer. Either the souvenir card must be legis- lated against or a new wave of expression break over us, else we can hardly avoid adding another smear to our soiled escutcheons. Doctor—What is your occupation? Girl—Cabaret singer. “You need a change of air. Suppose you sing in a church choir awhile. comicbooks.com