Judge — July 28, 1923 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ASKED for a kiss and a cup of tea. id she, “The tea’s not ready, yet.” Her meaning is a mystery. I asked for a kiss and a cup of tea. Why did she coyly smile at me WITH THE COLLEGE WITS Irrepressible, Joyous, Irresponsible The Whirlwind wishes to compliment the young ladies who sat in the grand- stand at the football game for the fine showing that’ they made.—Oklahoma Whirlwind. Prof—Was Socrates as as the present-day man? Soph.—No, he w numskull. “Why do you say that?” “Well, he drank hemlock and we drink worse stuff only we ours with perfume.”—Lafayette Lyre. ery Autte tulle, LX A yard of silk; A little skin As white as milk. intellectual A little strap— How dare she breathe! A little cough “Good evening, Eve!” 5 —Colorado Dodo. Beardovitch to Beardovitski—Come, let there be no splitting of hairs be- tween us, or we shall be here till next week!—Northwestern Purple Parrot. eee First Sister—I’m_ going to sell kisses at the charity ball to-night. Do you think ten cents apiece is too much to charge for then Second Sister—No, I guess not. People st to get cheated at these charity airs.—Washington Sun Dodger. sae “Yes, she’s a neighbor of mine and she’s mourning for a husband.” “Ah, a widow’s way is hard.” “But she’s a spinster, you know.”— Chicago Phoenix. “Have you a tux for the dance to- night?” “If I owned a tux I'd have gone to Harvard.”—Brown Jug. - Passenger—I say, av life of a locomotive Driver—Oh, about thirty yeu “T should think such a tough-looking thing would last longer than that.” “Well, perhaps it would, sir, if it didn’t smoke so much.”—Southern Cali- fornia Wampus. rad Married Stude- than eat. Unmarried —Stude—What wife say about it? “Oh, she’s highly pleased, she'd rather play bridge. than cook.”—Washington and Lee Mink. <tiea ae ALE OE, Slai Never forget that Little Molly, all alone, just as good fish in the s Standing in the safety zone; been caught. . Want a date? Then don’t repine, Knickers—Yes, but it takes a clever Move yourself, or move that sign! angler to get the big ones.—Cornell —Yale Record. Widow. I'd rather play golf does your there ¢ 26 Said she, With glance I never ean forg ked for a kiss and a cup of t he tea’s not ready yet. —Penn State Froth. N Little specks of powder, Little daubs of paint, Make the co-eds freckles Seem as if they ain't. —Denver Parrakeet. As the Movie Titles Tell It *Tocrsurc, a dimple on the smiling face of nature, where men are men, and women are angels.” “May [have just a wisp of your hair. uur own or some that you wear: those followed him, seeming to penetrate into his innermost soul. Then like the ringing of an alarm clock came the solution of the problem, brushing away the mists of doubt and showing the sunlight of truth.” Finale—“And so walked two spotless souls as one into the sunrise of their hopes.” —Harvard Lampoon. Will It Come to This? Father—Son, IT want you always to remember what the immortal E said, “Hitch your wagon to a sts Young Son— Dad, tell me, what's a wagon?—Notre Dame Juggler. eyes “That's the fourth one of those signs I've passed, and I don’t seem to be getting any nearer.”—Nebraska Aw- gwan. comicbooks.com