Judge — July 21, 1923 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Twelve-year- old Izzy boy, gets distance onhishome-made radio outfit when half the time Matt Brown can’t tune in on anything with his five-hundred dol- lar outfit. “Ser- ves him right for spending all that money on folde- rols,’? says Grandma Kelly. “Wuffo y'all work, Arbutus? Ain’t yo’ husban’ much of a provider?” “He sure am nothin’ else but, ma’am. He gwine to git me a new dress providin’ he gits de money; he gwine to git de money providin’ he go to work; he go to work pro- vidin’ de job suits him. I nevah see such a providin’ man!” Crauford—So your suburban neigh- bors objected to your keeping pigs? What in the world did the pigs do? Crabshaw—They squealed on me. crea It takes a star cop to make a car stop nowadays. & “T’d like a pair of water-wings, please.” “Yes, madam. Pontoon depart- ment, three aisles over.” Mettler — Liebling’s luck seems never to forsake him. Lancaster —No, but I thought it was going to the other night when, without a cent in his pocket, he boarded a taxi for the rail- road station. “Well, what happened?” “Why, the driver found the taxi wouldn't go for- ward, so he made the trip going backward, and when the station was reached the meter showed the taxi com- pany owed Liebling one dollar and thirty cents.” soe “There are two sides to every question,” —senten- tiously remarked the pro- chuckled the cynic, “and a te man’s wife usually covers both! chad Our National Ticket for 1924: Ford and Edison. Platform: We take you there and we bring you back. Study our records. The Biggest Compliment by Edmund J. Kiefer & ‘ny, how tanned you are, George. You look like a hottentot.” “Where did you get that tan? You look like a smoked herring!” “My, how tanned! I'd never know you! You're unrecognizable.” “Ah, Big Chief Sunburn! You're enough to frighten anybody.” “Hot potato! Look at our good man Friday. All dressed up in his coat of tan “Gee, Alice, where did you get it? You look like a little tar baby!” “Seeing Nellie Home.” Crawford—Henpeck takes it philo- sophically when his wife throws dishes at him. Crabshaw—You see he figures that there won't be so many left for him to wash. tae Presidential timber is mostly bark. » NOTICE OF MURDER HEREAFTER “And why do you say he’s a fair musician?” Man in the Middle—He seems to be able to carry a tune. 14 comicbooks.com rs