Judge — June 16, 1923 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

by Walter Trumbull As Frow the clubhouse porch i meet his gaze The man with any eye for beauty thinks That he has never once in all his days Beheld a sight so lovely as the links. they Winding across the fairway smooth and green, Where ever hot) and anxious players strive, The cool and gently flowing brook is seen In which the little spheroids daily dive. On either side are gaily colored flowers, Growing among the grasses sweet and t There frequently you'll see a man for hours Wander about while searchi for a ball. From edges of the valleys, mile on mile. The land rolls upward toward the smiling sky: But on the golfer’s face there is no smile For here is where he gets a side hill lie. So, here's the moral of this little rhyme: Upon a course that’s filled with trap and pit. The golfer studies Nature all the time And wishes he could change her quite a bit. A humorist is a talkative person who watches others play golf. Some persons keep awfully busy doing little things in a big way. * * . There is aseaddie in Scotland who has been on the job for thirty-six years. If all the duffers for whom he were laid end to end they would reach well, figure the thing out for yourself TOLD AT THE 19th HOLE Drawn by C. Edwin Levieh Whitemarsh Valley Country Club, Philadelphia, Course, where the O": Gout beams fall Upon a carpet green, Whose edge is lined by grasses tall And flowers that grow betw Across whose hills the bre ‘That are unknown to town, And through whose valleys, broad and sun- nes sweep deep, \ little stream winds down, All your advantages I sing T am not one to seotf You build up health and everything Except my game of golf. * * * Another reason golf is a simple game is that the average man who thinks that he can learn to play it well is. simple above the ears. The two chief drawbacks to a good score are a sense of honesty and the ability to count. + * * A golf philosopher is one who on seeing an opponent slice into the rough reminds him cheerfully that if all shots were perfect there would be much less Gaines interest in the Jones finds a perfect ue practice-green at last. . x An unfortunate accident happened toa dumb man the other da He made a good shot and sprained three fingers trying to tell his friends about it. + *# « If you want to get a hea laugh out of a man save your best stories to tell him just as he is in the process of missing a two-foot putt. Pa. A[bisesn of ones tells us that he was ked to. play golf the other day on a course which was built around the wettest lake he ever encountered. Not knowing that he was being invited to participate in a naval battle he had no floaters in his bag. Eight times he essayed to drive across that lake—not because he thought he could, but because pointed out a landmark on the Opposite shore which he claimed was a some or green, After the eighth attempt he regretted that he had no more golf balls to give to that country. Then some spectator handed him a floater. He didn’t see what good it would do, as it seemed to have no propeller attached. Did the floater go in the water? It did not. It sailed over the lake like a gull and dropped into the pit back of the green. Such is golf. If you praise a golfer’s drive he will grumble about his second shot. If you compliment his second shot he will complain bitterly about his drive. ‘The only apparently satisfied golfer we ever knew dropped dead of excitement just after making a hole in one. + 8 8 Golf is a simple game. For mashie shot correctly * are not over eleven things to re- member between the time you start the back swing and the instant you hit the ball. really * * * Once having selected your club and ated the distance to the green, don’t of anything but the shot.” Con- centrate on that alone. Then—having dubbed it—the satisfaction is yours of having missed according to the best principles of golf. * * * What we really need is a board of censors for golf. This board should prohibit’ the production of all. clubs which produce a hook or a slice. Such productions hurt. public morals. They wei ken Christianity. They are a publie comicbooks.com