Judge — June 16, 1923 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

STORIES TO TELL JUDGE pays 8 mitt undidate for Senator, wt-grandfather was an ony silence], but_ my g ndinother belonged to. the’ Prest an Church [continued silence]. My grandfather was a Baptist [more silence), and my grandmother was a Congrega- ionalist [frigid silence]. But I had a aunt who was a Methodist {loud dT have always followed int.” Jones was clected, Per my grea Second Prize I A CERTAIN Southern town there was a group of gentlemen that refused to dignity of labor, but pre- d to subsist on the generosity tions. ‘They were commonly Ipers” because one of joned as to his means of that he helped Bs xe did, replied: mit the ferred inst of their rel known as them when qu livelihood | stated and when Iw a damn thin fervent “Joe-helper” was who had achieved this position through years of unimpeachable His wife kept a boarding nd was thus able to feed and her worthy spouse. You can » then the Colonel's scandalized expression when he was told by one of his intimates that he had by’ working rendered himself — ine je to further membership in the group. “Yes, Colonel,” said his’ informant, “last night your wife was out in’ the yard chopping wood. And as for you suh, I regret to say that you were standing by holding the lantern for he eet The most Colonel B MAN, recently returned from C Ly brought with him some. rejection slips which he had received from Chinese One of them ran as follows: ve read your manuscript with infinite delight. Never before have we reveled in such a masterpiece. If we printed it the authorities would ordain us to take it for a model, and henceforth print nothing inferior to it. As it would be impossible to find its equal in 10,000 ; are compelled, though shaken with sorrow, to return your divine manu- script. For so doing we beg one million pardons.” periodicals, “We h ala want to get my. silver teaspoon back. It belongs to my best set,” wailed an excited woman to the city health department secretary. “But, madam, we don’t know any: thing about your spoon,” he protested. es, you do!” she replied. “I put it in my garbage can by mistake.” Dar had never seen a radio whe his friend Mike was a real enthusi possessing a complete set with all th attachments, includin louds Mike was expl set to his frien ht when he was called out of the room, On returning he found Pat with the headphones over his ears shouting uninteliigibly into the tone n londspeaker. “Pwhat’s the matter wid ye?” claimed Mik ly ed at him. ‘his dom thing may be pretty to “he said, “but Tl be hanged if I can get Central!” agitated, A cnove of officials were examining 42 a mine where the only method of travel was the rope and bucket. When they had finished their explorations they were hauled up in this bucket two at a As the last) was nding, with a miner as a fellow-pas . he noticed unmistakable frailty in the rope. “How often do you change he inquired when about 1 the bottom of the awful < “We change them every three months, sir.” replied the miner, “and we change this one to-morrow. if up safe.” time. symptoms of your ropes?” If-way from WHEN THE TRAFFIC COPS ARE WOMEN She changed her mind. comicbooks.com