Judge — June 9, 1923 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Woodmere Club, New York, N. Y. TOLD AT THE 1r9th HOLE tways be considerate of your caddie. Never carry over twice as many clubs as you use and don’t fill the bag with old golf balls over a third of the way up. Two umbrellas in the bag are enough. er throw a favorite club at the caddie, as you may hit him and break it. When you miss a putt don’t be short with the caddie. Always take time to explain to him fully and plainly just why it was his fault. Always make a caddie show you his diving medals before playing on a course with water hazards. * * & The Russians are talking of colonizing other countries. No one can blame them for wanting to move. * * * No matter how plainly you address a golf ball it rarely goes where you wish to send it. + * * A caddie’s job is to carry your golf bag. You are supposed to carry your troubles yourself. . * *# & If you bounce a ball off a player’s head, but injure him so slightly that he is still in condition for physical remonstrance, it is tactful to distract his attention by some cheerful remark, such as: “Thank you for stop- ° ping the ball. I just know it was going to slice into the rough.” that a well played shot? I had no idea I could hit a ball that far.” * ~ * In the days before pro- hibition no golfer ever stopped on the outside of a siingiig door. He always followed through. “Good heavens, caddy! What do you suppose is the matter?” Weary Caddy—Dunno. Can it be yer no tryin’? by Walter Trumbull HERE Was a man in our town Who was an awful dub; He jumped into his motor car And drove out to the club. And when they saw that man arrive, With all their might and main The other players ran away Till he drove home again. + * & When your opponent is driving stand where he can just see you out of the corner of his eye and take several practice swi' The swishing sound of your club him learn to concentrate. * * * You might as well replace the divot. It is absolutely against all club rules to take it home with you. 10 Fifteen—and I haven’t budged it! | DRIVING into the golfer ahead the rules should be followed closely. It is not permissible to hit below the belt, and besides you stand a better chance of going through if you hit him behind the ear. Never fail to call, “Fore!” when it is just too late for him to dodge. Always apologize to his surviving heirs. The penalty for missing is one stroke and fifteen minutes’ delay. * * * Oh, let the gambler drive away At what he chooses, but Don't risk your chips against his play Until you've seen him putt. + * & An optimist is a man who always ex- pects to play the last nine holes better than he did the first nine. + # «* If when trying to light a cigarette ona windy day the player is blown into a water hazard as a general rule he loses the match. + * + Skill consists in never getting off the fairway; heart consists in playing dead to the hole from the rough. * * * No male golfer should address a golf ball ina bunker if there are ladies within hearing. + * & Standing with reluctant feet Where the brook and golf course meet, Many a fair and lovely daughter Fishes golf balls from the * * * The true golfer would rather miss the last train than a two-foot putt.