Judge — June 2, 1923 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| New ( M } \\\ 4 goes WITH WHICH IS ais Lf COMBINED LESLIE'S WEEKLY “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness’ If the Hat Salesman Told the on Truth That hat makes srize’ jackass. or will you “Yo “RE a show, sir. you look like a Will you have it done create a laugh right now “Step a little closer to the mirror, you're a seream. I could die laughing. That hat makes you look ten years younger and foolisher.” “I hardly know whether I should charge you or not. I pay five dollars to see Frank Tinney and never miss it. I never thought a black derby could make a man look so funny.” “Wait till you get out! trailing you to see the fun. schools ‘are letting out just you see what Ts “A nice jaunty hat like that just fits your sour ex- The effect is dis- Wait till I feel like I hope the now. Do pression. tinctly burlesq T call the other: ‘an you beat it for four- teen dollars? That hat would do credit to the Middle Ages. You could never sell a woman such a relic, She'd set fire to your shop.” “Wear it a little more on the side so the people will know what a damphool you are. There—now you've got Pa “Here's a never outwear. your nerve the first day send it to the Near Relief.” “It isn’t the fault of the hats, it's your mug. You'd look funny in acrown. Bet- ter wear the old hat It won't att “Whew—!" hat you. will You will lose and East Ral » London fogs so -retty thick.” | be A Wet Finish by Robert C. O'Brien ; < END we went camping. We took along one of those water- proof folding tents. When we purchased it the man in the store said: “It’s no trouble at all; five minutes. it will fold up in As might be expected We no sooner had gone to sleep the first night Than it started to rain. When the wind blew We knew the man in the store had spoken the truth; It folded up in less than five minutes. I the old days, when a man took a chorus girl to dinner we used to speak of “a large cold bottle and a small hot bird.” But now it’s a small hot bottle and a large cold bird. Where does the large cold bird come in? The large cold bird doesn’t come in, She’s already sitting opposite the man. Quite Apt, Too The New York police have declared war on panhandlers. No quarter! is the ery, rk “What kind of a moveme! nt is that » putting into the dance?” That's what's known as an Indiana curve. n Ind “Yes—a $ you na curve? mith Bend.” tot ‘y man should tak tion away from his wi ry and get it!” tat Peggy—Reggie Chutters is one of the best’ men in the world. Willie—How do you make that or “He’s stood up at seventy- six weddings.” Rey I have a sneaking fond- ness for the Ka her who announced: “The jan- itor and I will hold the reg- ular weekly prayer meeting on Wednesday evening.” Rory One of the most pathetic sights nowadays is to sce a man whose ancestors traded the Indians a quart of whisky for a thousand acres of land, trying to trade back. tae —And such beauti- Why man, her eyes shine as crystal. “How do vehicles get out?” “Oh, the first. one through leaves a tunnel.” “Well, “Oh, John! You just ran over a man!” what about it? the two cars ahead of us.” 1 He was already run over by Radio Fan—1 don’t care so much for those crystal sets. comicbooks.com