Judge — May 26, 1923 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

1 ASTRA automa: Buy direct from sole U. S. Im. Recognized by authorities ay the finest Eure- e ‘The standard of the Spanish Army exhaustive testa, was adopted by the French during the War, ‘The equal of any similar American weapon which sells for twice the price. You save Jobber, Wholesaler and Retaller profits by ordering direct from us at these special prices. 28 cauiseR 22,cquzo8n 1B.95. 217" HOS 2s 21 Sou 'O-2$ Both Modal Shoot Any Standard Ammunition ~ WARNING! Cast fron guns are very danger~ ous! We “of Grae? every ASTRA to be brand new and o! Steel Throughout! y . ST on this guare us the ASTRA pt @ not en~ rely satisfied, return within 10 days and we will immediately refund your money. SEND NO MONEY —unless you wish. Just write your name and address clearly state the model you wish. We will ship by return mail. You pay tho postman ( Postage) when it arrives. Write for our new arms catalog. California Trading Company Dept. 650, Terminal Bldg. Loe Angeles, Cal. if You Can Tell it from GENUINE Linear itback r BASEBALL OUTFIT Reig your name and and we you HOW you vocal Et ths Base will SFREI 4 C bert Bonde, ¥ P age Stam! eth, Magneto Points, demelry, Watches, Auy'Valuables. MAIL IN TODAY. "ash gent, return mail. Goods returned in 10 days youre” not satisfied: OHIO SMELTING CO., 214 Hippodrome Bids, Cleveland. ig Oe ai a a a mat Dept. 191, Counsel Service, ie me Tist St., New York | all the early hist | with his ‘over, ceanopao) If baseball fans were loyal to their favorites. From Way Down East (Continued from page 25) at the Point of Pin Then he enlists, goes to camp and to France, and “Im- promptu” becomes for many pages a second-rate “Three Soldiers.” The hero comes back a useless, drooling, cur-like creature, all nerves and sex impulses (we, for one, don’t understand. why), and Dorothy, in his absence, has become prosperous in a circumspect brothel conveniently situated near the Back Bay. At the end of the book, the “boy” enlists in the army again, and Dorothy, presumably, continues her career. We haven't the remotest idea what of the hero had to do rmy experiences, or what those experiences had to do with Dorothy. She, in turn, was a weak, shadowy little creature, whose first affair at the Point of Pines had actually little connection with her subsequent employment. There was an intervening gentleman in whose embraces she seemed quite content The whole story is incoherent, undigested, and gives a curious sense of hectic ir- relevancy. Mr. P: first story showed that he can do much better than this. It is all very well to be frank, but it doesn’t get an author far if he is also formless. What's the use of calling a spade a spade, if you don’t dig with it? And, in memory of the town of Malden, where we were both born, we implore Mr. Paul to tell his next story in the past tense. Leave the historic present to the lady gushers, and Victor Hugo. SID As an Eye-opener? by Robert C. O'Brien S A LAW ABIDING (Eigh- teenth Amendment Excepted) citizen of this country and a subway com- muter in good standing I deem it my solemn duty to raise my Voice in protest against those insidious propagandists, the fruit barons, who, ai abetted by the opticians, are doing their darndest to make the people of the United States accept grape fruit as the natic break- fast fruit. The very idea strikes me as a paradoxi absurdity—grape fruit an eye-opener—why, it’s anything but that. A facetious fanatic once had the temerity to suggest that I don a Ku Kluck’s 30 Knightshirt before commencing — an assault on one of the lemon’s uncles. I refused to consider it. “It might seem all right,” I lisped back at him, “except for the fact that the holes in the hood are just where they shouldn't: be—at the eyes. Now, a grape fruit looks harmless enough, But, no sooner do you jab the spoon in it than it starts to fight ba If you get mad at it the darn thing is liable to go on the offensive, just as certain kinds of eggs do. Then there’s no telling how you'll come out. The following news item is the last straw: Sunny California (rainy —season)— Luther Burbank, the plant wizard who ently crossed the Rocky Mountains vith a mule, announces that the squirtless grape fruit is an impossibility. se Lines to a False Love by Gardner Rea T™ was when all my little arts Found favor in your sight: You loved my songs with sissy parts, My card tricks hit you right, My poorest wheezes got a hand. . . . You always seemed to understand. Ah, fickle woman, prone to change! Ah, you who praised of old My modest talents, why so strange? So different? So cold? For change there’s been, and whose the blame? My tricks and jokes remain the same. A NATURAL DEDUCTION “How do you know, Rastus, when your hands are clean?” “Whe’ de watahs roiley, miss.”