Judge — February 24, 1923 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Early Morning Thoughts by Robert S. MacKnight I blink into the murk. ve no taste for work. My tasks do not delight me, As some men claim of theirs. The thoughts of them affri Out of my morning prayers. I have no pep to hurrah, To jump around or s The old clock on the bui Is just about to ring. Excepting me, the ant and bee, All Nature s s The birds, the fishes in the sea Cavort around all day But Man, superior mo His place of labor se Within some workhouse portal, Of m smells and squeak: He rises early, toils and knowledge in his Yet he is lucky if he gets A tombstone when he’s dead. Were I some hairy barker Who gets his pork chops free, I'd do without a marker And wag my tail with glee. Such longings give me dizzi- ness. Such thoughts bring no advance, And think them? Of putting on my pants.) Perhaps a mug of jz Will give my spirit wings And then I hope I'll have a More cheerful view of things. Las! It's Monday morning. 1 thought dies a-borning: sht me 1879. $5.00 a ye. Weet 45d Street First. Lady—The full of scandal now Second Lady—Yes, it’s dreadful! can’t get to my housework till eleven or twelve o'clock! ttt A Cincinnati boy who had run away was found asleep in a soap factory. probably felt th very. last place looking for him. would think Judge—Pat, you must remember that when this wo her fate in your hands. Pat—Not on yer loife! She placed "em agin me back. _ “Get a man it can’t be done.” Tom—Dearest, I’ve lost all my money. pars Gladys—How ‘careless of you! The next thing you bought my own ticket, and know, you'll be losing me! 1 » factory was the married you she placed y. This expedition ‘y to climb Mount Everest.” Our cameraman will have The Determined Fare Payers by Cyril B. Egan He was one of those gents who felt it his duty to pay the fares on all occasions, He not only felt it his duty, but he actually fought to be the first at the win- dow of the ticket agent. “Let me pay the fare: shout; and if you offered ¢ he would take you by the wrist and glee- fully dislocate that member; then, hurl- ing you against the proceed unim- peded to buy both his ticket and yours. This strange zeal on the part of my friend vs suited me well enough, only—since I preferred to have my fare paid without violence—I soon ceased to make any show of protestation, But one day this Determined Fare- Payer met me in company with another Determined Fare-Payer. As we walked into the station, both shouted at once:— “Let me pay the fares!” And then the struggle be- gan. They wrestled all over the waiting-room, They waxed wroth and red and hot. ” he would broke each other's broke each other’s They broke each other's head. They blacked each other's cy They bloodied each other’s no nother case,” I sighed, when they had been at it for fifteen minutes — “just another case of the Immov- able Body met up with the Irresistible Force!” So after stepping into a phone booth and calling up an ambulance, I reluctantly went on my way. 4 ] | |