Judge — February 17, 1923 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

wanes Drawn by RENe CLARKE Dr. Emile Coué shows our leading pros how to make the course in eighteen. Ballades of a Dub by AL N.C. Fowler Oatmeal and Kilts May Get Me Yet GIVE myself the doubie-O And find that from my eap to feet I'm sporting what costumers show As ing gaudy if not neat tat some golf retreat Where what you wear decides your set, Sut still E feel Pm incomplete Oatmeal and kilts may get me yet. My speech is golf, my thoughts all go Likewise, my dreaming is replete With that Scotch game that long ago Was born amid the moors and peat— Yet often fears spring tout de suite That make me wonder, pause and fret If Lean pass the judgment-seat— Oatmeal and kilts may get me yet. T saturate my cosmos so With golf and what is thereto mect With golf my ego recks also, My heart: pumps Yet still some appr My mind I've over! To make me lose the fi Oatmeal and kilts may get me yet. L’Envroi O Hymen, one fresh convert greet, Enmesh me in your lasting net And bid me full golf-vows repeat— Oatmeal and kilts may get me yet. astus—What was all dat hubbub at - crossing about Pandomaninus—Well, yo" sce Rastus, in as simple lengwedge as I kin tell it, ole Jim mistook the headlight of the Chicago limited for a fire bug. “And whar is Jim now?” “As I wuz about to say he jined the prohibitionists.” Scooty Blear by CW *, Myers HW Mast popular spot in th’ U.S. A. noo gawf coorse. * Mony shephe game o° gawf. anithe sr million, * Those men whi millionaire wad nor Walter Has the awl,” tac > lawak thir scores for fear 0” wad be * * a duffer hae eursed th? Se Wha unwittingly originated th’ * * en a gawf lesson. * * her be ke Ch on than Lnever sroun’ oF vat they but ‘they never ius’ thir health, T hac observed. Sandy McTish thocht, gave his auld aut p tae th’ drive flivver 2. th a wa’, Th’ result’ hae noo hae tae poot oop hill t ither fel he hae tae blaw th’ paint hae luster. form, a hac ti scoots *Ask ane o’ th TW auld er Sam heen phenomeccal » keep frae runnin’ ov ‘Tl’ car runs sae quietly that his horn constantly, taken oon a_mirror-like * * 1 needed a new L th’ pr oa coorse 0° Cou shie This ea he «¢ formula, \ tin’ better an’ oon his braks mn bus is sae rarin’ t dy cranks her, tha th’ saddle afore r buck.* “Rough Writers.” jnist pla hul a nineteen-hole ‘otch srtash is a player wha boasts that May able ns or Gene mak’ mder ayin” quit con- vused lrove gaun rth’ an’ > per- at he she Whe: capped it hurts his pride. lower handicap than he believes he's really entit he feels he’s hono Oon th’ ither - when th’ match is bein’ fixed oop, it’s never high aneuch in th’ ane case, or it’s too darned low in th’ ither. Gawfers are juist human, that’s a’. x * & T hae a frien’ wha is a gude frequently musses oop his imbibin? too mue’ ‘kle. In a recent - ment he traveled a’ ower th’ coorse in the a in’ roun’, he was standin’ at penth tee, leanin’ oon his driver, V asked: “Weel, hoo do ye stan’, “Tsha miracl | as he tried tae steady hisel’ tae drive aff. * * * Th’ mon wha jecringly remarks that he’s nae auld aneuch tac tak’ oop gawf is anly kiddin’ hise “We s gawf that keeps ane frae gettin’ auld, Ltell ye. * * * Th’ question as tae whether Henry Ford or John D. Rockefeller is th’ richer dacs nae interest me muckle. 1) wad raither be able tae legthen my tee shots taventy yards than hac th? wealth o” baith ta’gither. Lie doun, ‘Tige. as In Passing by Charles Ballard VWV'2t88 looked at you just now T heard music. I think it was the gleam of your hair as you turned your head, Or the curve of your throat— T cannot tel Such thin, re marred in the telling. comicbooks.com