Judge — February 10, 1923 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

anni wer een When Winter Comes by C.W. Myers hidden ‘neath th’ snaw, an’ turf in thir cauld bed; An’ wintry winds continually blaw— For mony there're dreary days ahead. Th’ brassie, drive Are put awa’ h, th’ putt parlor rug lang evenin’s through. Th’ indoor gawf mith hae a kick For soome, but verra s¢ I'd find it gr r Th’ moss frac a mulberry tree. Sae, gawfers wha becoome distressed When wint shad na despair; A little wait, a little rest, Then spring is wi’ us, bricht an’ fair. Notes of a Tourist by John D. McMaster nw Axrox, O., a station I thanked me for my tip. I remember Denver, Colo., be- cause there a barber shaved my neck before I could stop him, In Miami, I I was asked to join the Ku Klux Klan. I am the man who heard the woman say the Grand Canyon was cute. In Atlanta a waiter emptied kidney stew in my lap. In a Detroit drug store I innocently ordered a glass of sarsaparilla to receive porter Drawn by RENE CLARKE. a drink of gin and a check for sixty-five The police of Joplin, Mo., arrested me for vagrancy At A tic City I saw a girl, pretty as a royal flush, asleep on the sand, and snoring. Chicago always reminds me of the eon- fidence man with the wire-tapping scheme, who let me win my first bet, after which I quit. Admiring the sunset from the roof garden of a Salt’ Lake City hotel, I sprinkled pepper on my am. In Los Angeles a widow with twins wanted to marry me. On the causeway between St. Paul and Minneapolis I found a ten dollar bill. I saw a woman on the Albany day boat who thought she was se Louisville, Ky., our a switch, and a man rose hur- nd jumped from the train, leaving a suitease behind him. In. it were six quarts of whisky, which I found ex- cellent. Toledo, O., has the finest gas works I Leaning over a pool of boiling water in the Yellowstone Park I lost a silver watch, willed me by my godfather, from whom I had expected to inherit at least $10,000, In New Orleans I ate fried cel on a bet. On a train near Butte, Ida., T was snow- bound with a troupe of actors, who did vaudeville turns to amuse the passengers. It was very cold, and one of t tated a steam radiator in a flat. A drunken man paid my fare on the cogwheel railway up Pike's Peak. k, N. J., Twas taken to in- spect tory where dog biscuits are made, untold thousands each day. On the smoker between Houston and El Paso I lost thirty dollars at poker to an oily nosed ex-bartender who quoted the Koran, RrIVING at Duluth, I was mistaken for a celebrity expected that day, and the reception committe , played until the mistake was discove T saw a prominent actress driv cab 365 times around Columbus Circle, New York, to win a wage In Market Stree perfect stranger banged me « ye and accused me of running away with his: wife. Later he apologized. A tailor in Portland, Me., burned a hole in the trousers of my dress suit. In the Yosemite I had my photograph taken, riding on a mule. I attended a Confederate Veterans’ Reunion at Chattanooga, and made a speech. At Del Monte, Cal., I went to a mas- Je ball dressed as a deacon, and three girls, one of them against my will, In Philadelphia I was riding in a rubber-neck wagon that tipped over after a collision, On the South Street Wharf, Boston, I checked my best wardrobe trunk never to see it again. So when I say I've traveled and seen America— “Ah think gawf co’ses wuz eighteen holes—” “Dey is.” “Well, dis gemman is seben clubs shy.”