Judge — January 20, 1923 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Are the children Jes, and al/ are hormal apples off my tree. My clothes were hanging on the line, my costly shirts, exceeding fine; my woolen socks the good wife knit, and each one guaranteed to fit; and there were sheets and pillow slips, and your cheap cow, with greedy lips, devoured them all, a’ washing big, then ate my straw hat and my wig. So from your purse the money draw, or I'll invoke the well-known law; the sheriff with his horse and hounds will camp on your ancestral grounds; pay up, pay up, or you will see the hangman and his gallows-tree.” Someries, my friends, it seems to me, that people hate to look on glee. The n man they don’t annoy; but let them see some burbling boy, some glad and cheerful delegate, who strives to keep his smile on straight, and they de- and one to play, } Two up... Little children run a fever so unexpectedly that we sug- gest these large thermometer gauges which can be read clear across the room. cide, “This will not do! It is man’s duty to be blue! So let’s surround this beaming jay, and shoo his happiness away!” It is a sin that such things be; and yet there still remains some glee. i (ae negro soldiers strutting along the troop street indulged incon- versation. Said one to the other, “Mose Mor you know your gineral ordehs yi “What yo" say, man?” The perspira- tion broke out on Mose’s shiny brow. “Gineral ordehs! Mah Lord, ain’t it “‘nough de capting gimme how-de-do widout bringin’ a gineral inter de mat- teh?” ry Military Terms for Public Use A EFFICIENCY report: The crack of the seventy-five. An approved solution: 214 per cent. A turning movement: The Curry- Anthony bill. Distinguished Servic any: less than one’s own, ‘Axial observation: Inspection re- None that is officer), grade of gener q ation: ‘errestrial obser files. A dressing station: Inside the turkey. A forced march: The late chief of staff. A referring point: The asterisk. A change of station: From acti pay to retired pay for ten years’ ser Poison gas: Disarmament speeche General Staff eligible list: Prerogatives of a friendly power. Bureau ch lilitary station masters. A highbrow: A dope absorber. Two months and ten days leave: A blue letter. Promotion by selection: You pull me and I'll push you. Automatic rifling: come ta Offensive counter p' tion: Printing German marks. Economy of force (European): Let Tenine and the Turks re and the United States pay for the relief. Probable errors: A Congressman’s opinion of the Army and the Army's opinion of a Con- Looking for The in- gressman. Eligibility for promotion: Ability to forget one ever held lower ra Mrs. 6 s. De Peyster—I wish to say, doctor, that the prescribing of a mustard plaster for a woman of my social k. Position is nothing short of impertinence! SitLess Pur had a total capital of J seventy-five cents. The cold, Decem- ber wind told him plainly that he could not sleep that night on his favorite park bench, so he went into the nearest hotel, -story structure, and inquired their nightly r: The clerk informed him that the first floor rooms were $10 nightly, ‘cond floor $9, each floor being $1 cheaper than the floor below, which the top floor $1 nightly. Phil shifted and started swiftly for the door. ked the clerk, mm? _ iN cred Shiftless. “Your build- ing ain't high enough.” ou want a “When are you going to let me kiss you?” “Come around on Friday. That's amateur night.” Prey 7 upofiicerof thed y had made his rounds of the post. He had also checked up on a recruit for not saluting. He had said: “Young man, next time you see me yousalute. Don’t forget that!" Adding the stern eve he faded into the shadows of one of the barracks buildings. On the next day the officer, now off duty, passed again. The same recruit was lounging in the same place. This time the rebuke for non-observance of orders was more pointed. Why had not the recruit profited by his lecture? The answer was simple. His voice quivering and his knees shaking the recruit managed to gurgle. “Well, sir, [thought vou wasmad atme.”