Judge — January 20, 1923 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“phe next time’ T put-anycreliance in ‘race throught you any friend of mine,” said Griggson, “I'll with the music of advertise it in all of the papers. I guess the tearing and you're all the same after all—can’t help breaking of Aunt but interfere in affairs that don’t concern Sophie's ungainly you.” sampler with its Mrs. Griggson was already at the door. puzzle pattern in “T have only one consolation,” she re- old rose and weak marked. “And that is, as bad as some blue! Hark to women are, no woman would have been the soothing hiss guilty of doing a thing like this.” and crackle of After they had both gone, I spent some the cuckoo clock time in reflecting upon what I had really in its death done, and finally gave it up. The most’ throes! Peep that I could get out of the unfortunate through the fur- affair was that it is never safe to attempt. nace shutter at to bring two people together each one of the flaming. legs whom believes that the other is right. of that accursed sas footstool where- The Silver Lining of the Coal 07 you were wont ehiociere Cloud to bunk your un- Shortage Clouc offending, shins by Edmund J. Kiefer forthe hundredth time in the dark! In with the top- heavy bric-a-brac stand! Ready, there, with that sanguinary plush covered — daven- port—its hour has come at last! Spare nothing, for wecessity t’s An ill wind that blows no good. Perhaps the coal shortage will bring in its train a compensatory satisfaction. Surely, when coals are no more, a sub- stitute must be found. What more natural result than that you be morally compelled to destroy for fuel this or that held inviolate in undeserved deference to one who wished it on you by will, or some self-styled friend who unloaded it on y in a transport of Yuletide sentimentality. Picture to yourself that not far distant ows a pe f perfect day when, hatchet in hand, you 2OTtage e Ft I a will let loose vour long pent-up prejudice Coal? | Pshaw! it Neigh, Not So Fast! on Uncle Wilbur's spectral crayon like- but forecasts a by G. M. good riddance of ness of his unlovely, austere self, foal Muay Imagine the thrill of unholy joy that will D@d rubbish, Who ran rough-shod as a matter of course san me Until his wild and woolly career He—1_— don’t Was checked by a lass in her sixteenth year. know where my next kiss is com- He hasn't a chance in a game like this; ing from. A horse and a man are alike to a Miss She—And I And he ought to be told before he starts can’t remember She'll break him as quick as she breaks men’s where my last hearts. one went. EHOLD this hitherto untamed horse ttt Parable of Finance Jinkins—Ts he a genuine Irish terrier? Fancier—Sure, an’ if that dog could talk he'd speak with a brogue. J° was a wise young sporting bird, The kind all well-bred bankers hate; He bought Synthetic Cheese Pfd. And other stocks that palpitate; He thought all low-yield bonds absurd— The more he thought and less he ate. by Carr Liggett But Simpson read the bankers’ ads, And did just what they said to do; He used deposit slips in pads And let the interest accrue. The bucket brokers came in seads, And likewise they departed, too. And so when both their lives were spent, And they had left earth's griefs and squalors, A lesson was made evident To cautious men and easy fallers; For Jones he died without a cent, While Simpson had $800.00. tot An American sweet-sweet has just won the world’s singing championship for wN he canaries. There is one thing we like Mother—And then what happened? about canary birds: They never try to Son—Well, I didn’t know she was that kind of girl until I hit her. sing the sextet from “Lu a 3