Judge — January 13, 1923 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Told at the 19th Hole Edwin Levick. Kagles and Birdies by Walter Trumbull Je READ articles signed by Vardon, Ray, ‘Taylor, Braid, Mitchell, Dun » Hutchi- son, Sarazen, Barnes, Brady, Ouimet and E n the use of a mashie. They all agreed upon one point. In order to play the shot properly you had to have a mash After reading ¢ we went and got And threw it ull that they said Gus Van told us this one. It may not be young. But we think it’s goc \ nus disposition and a pretty and flirtatious fiancée wrote to a sup- posed rival as follows: ay 1 that you have been seen kissing my girl. to my office at 10 o’el Wednesday and we'll settle this matte In the next morning's mail came the reply: “L have received a copy of your circular letter. I will be present at the meeting.” Lift the lashes from those eyes, Misty as if steeped in dew, Blue as cloudless summer skies, Deep and wonderful and true 1 can’t bear that look of pai ‘Trust me, dear, and do not doubt. Lift those lashes once again: 1 will get the cinder out. Since the decline in foreign currency the admonition to put not your trust in princes has become more valuable than ever. Every boy is prince of an imaginary empire and subject of an imaginary queen. Later he laughs at his own fanc never admitting that hidden in a shadowy corner of his heart is still a little hope that whispers there may be somewhere a land of dreams come true. “Heaping green and fairway With a silence, deep and white.”"— dition of Whittier. Belmont Spring Country Club, Waverly, Mass. Ballades of a Dub by A. N.C. Fowler My Middle Name Is Divots Now HAT Bible hoob (is it in Kings?) Who ate up all the grass, you know, Old Nebu (and the rest), he brings No envy to my feelings—no, Because no blade of grass may grow Where I with ready irons plow; I'm very fond of greens and so My middle name is Divots now. T eat it too with sundry swings; At ev'ry swipe and dig and blow ‘The air is full of turf and things As round about the course I go And elevate the life below ‘To higher planes that shall endow The low with lofty virtues, bo— My middle name is Divots now. We're led by moral whisperings ‘To lift the prostrate to a show Upon the heights and lend them wings Across the upper zones to flow Where chastely gleams the purest snow; Lhelp the best that I know how As I go digging to and fro— My middle name is Divots now. L’Envoi Say, Greens Committee, do bestow Your anger elsewhere and allow A dub must reap as he doth sow— My middle name is Divots now. ttt Wwo duffers were pl “How many are “I've only played seven,” said the first duffer, “but I'm afraid you'll beat’ me—my short game is awful!” Scooty Blear by CW. Myers Soom gawfers manage Lae get alang by hook SD or crook. By th’ wa’, ist nae Senator Capper wha is Ur farm bloc head? ‘There's mony a loop atween th’ tee an’ th’ cuip. I ken a mon wha a’ways has muckle grief oon th’ tee. He is head slicer in a cannery. ‘Th’ reason why a politectian never mak’s a guid gawfer is that he’s a’ways looking. side- ways keepin’ his car tae th’ groun’, In th’ auld days maist fellows wadna tak’ a drink aifter a me oo, when th toonity, they dinna remember i 's oppor- ot th’ n IL ken an oculist wha cuts doun his coal bill by savin’ oop a’ th’ cinders he extracts frac his patients’ eyes. + + Mony a motorist hae aiften burned th’ mid- nicht oil tryin’ tae devise a wa’ tee keep frae burnin’ oop sae muckle gasoline. + * * A farmer wha is a frien’ o’ mine had a bad fire th’ ither day. His barn burned doun an’ his strawstack burned oop. + * «* In my youth, I saved oop a’ th’ beer checks I cad get haud 0° for th’ prover! An’ noo th’ eighteenth amendment hae shat- tered my weel planned thrift. + * « An 18-Karat Banquet A frien’ o' mine returned frae Japan recently. He tauld me that ane o’ th’ maist enjoyable functions he attended was a banquet at which th’ eighteenth coorse was carrots. comichooks.qom