Judge — January 13, 1923 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

the shore of the whis- Wears ked, and your hand sought And we mine, And Mars was the only star awake: So we took him for our sign. We vowed that whenever we saw that star, In the months we should be apart Our thoughts should sever the distance far— And a heart should find a heart. The red star's shining on me to-night; As it’s shining on you, af And perhaps you're true, in its ruddy light— But ['m darned if I think you are! Yale Record. tae T’s always the pretty woman With whom we love to tarry. But being sane and human ‘Tis the homely girl we'll marry. For we know she won’t run off With Tom or Dick or Harry. —Chicago Phoeniz. tae Artists and poets have inspirations. Others must always think up new ex- cuses.—Mass. Tech. Voo Doo. toe Tom—Harry ate something that poi- soned him. Dick—Croquette? ‘Not yet; but he’s Seal per. ne First Commuter: I understand Jones's wife is tight? Second Ditto—Tight! Why, man, she uses barbed wire for clothesline, so. the birds can’t sit down.— Northwestern Purple Parrot. Professor (very ne hted)—Hullo, Jones! You look like s« one el James—1 am. This isn’t Jones. Panther. Pitt Half—Why did you get thrown out of the glee club? Note—For singing. —Lafayette Lyre. AFTER THE BALL Sophisticated Marie—You're not up to Algernon’s tricks. Indignant Froshina— Perhaps you didn’t see me dancing with him!— Cornell Widow. With the College Irrepressible, Joyous, Irresponsible A missionary writing after two years in darkest Africa says: “The members of my congregation refuse to give up the practice of cannibalism, but I am happy to say they have learned to eat with a knife and fork.”—Toronto Goblin. “I dropped an egg, what shall I do?” “For heaven's sake, cackle!"—Har- vard Lampoon. Ral Preparedness A.cisr was making 2 call on his par 4 ticular fiancée of the moment. The younger'brother strolled into the parlor while he was waiting, so he inquired, “Do you know, Jack, whether Marjory is expecting me or not?” ST gucas slic: must dé: «Shes dpstaiis taking the pins out of her belt.”"—Prince- ton Tiger. aaa “Did you ever understand a woman?” “Once.” “How come?” “She said ‘No.’”—Michigan Gargoyle. Aas “The Boss offered me an interest in the business to-day.” “He did!” “Yes, he said that if T didn’t take an interest. pretty soon he'd fire me.”—Kan- sas Sour Owl. Por First Junior—Did you get the second question in calculus? Second Junior—No. “How far were you from the right e seats.” —Penn State Froth. 22 Finale Me™ had always been rather 4 tentive to me. That is, I thou she was until after [ came home Thanksgiving. Then seted me with a very cool expression when T saw her that night. I couldn't understand it at all, ‘There was something myste- rious in the air. “Well, she said to say for yoursel That was extraordinary. I couldn't for the life of me think of anything I had done. Still, girls must be answered. “Nothing,” I said softly, and waited for the skies to fall. “Nothing?” she said — wonderingly. “But you must have something to say. You always have, before.” Then I understood, and proposed for the last. time. Now I am still won- dering if she was playing a last joke on me. We are married:—Brown Jug. “well, what have you soe Git—a dance—a jealous friend £% A stolen car—a plan to end The love affair—a kidnaped girl The hero’s head is in a whirl. A gun—a cab—a frenzied chase A shot—a seream—a low-down place A cop—a fight—the villain dead The boy—the — girl—now another movie. —Dartmouth Jack: 0 Lantern. sae Man—Wiere are you going to attend school this fall? At the university? Maid—No, I'm tired of dancing. Kansas Ag. Brown Bull. The Frenchman—You told me zat ze words “sight” and “vision” vair ze same. His Friend—Sure they are. “Well, mon Dieu! Why did my girl give me ze—vat you call?—razzberries when I call her a ‘sight?’ — Yale Record.