Judge — January 13, 1923 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“He works only on inspiration.” “Yes, the rent’s due to-morrow.” Retailing Grief by Walt Mason Y LIFE is shot to pieces, my weird is hard to dree, for all my aunts and nieces have come to visit me. They're swarming in the cottage, they occupy the chairs, they eat the price- less pottage, they’re camping on the stairs. I'd tell my tale of sorrow to neighbors here and there, some sympathy I'd borrow, to ease my load of care. To Abner Johnson’s dwelling I heavy hearted go; to him I would be telling my dark blue tale of woe. I say, “M. Aunts Matilda, Jemima, Dorcas, Rebecca, Rose and Hilda came on last evening’s train; and there are fourteen nieces, a giddy, vamping crew; with trunks and large valises, they'll stay a year or two. Oh, Abner, life is dreary, my skies are dark and gray, so hand out something cheery to drive the gloom away!” And Abner cries, “Ods onions! Talk not to me of woe; for I have many bunions, and corns on every toe. I've tried all kinds of potions, I’ve tried all kinds of salves; I’ve rubbed Doc dare’s lotions all up and down my calves; I've soaked my blooming ankles in dope that burned the hide, and still the anguish rankles, the pains with me abide. The ache, which never ceases, grows worse when you arrive, to talk about your nieces and aunts, in blocks of five. Be grateful, oh, be grateful, for blessings you enjoy; with idle tales it’s hateful your neighbors toannoy.” I sEE the brass-bound copper, he’s pacing to rnd fro; to him it will be roper to tell my tale of woe. I sa im, “O peeler, pray hearken to my yarn; it is a blood congealer; my life’s not worth a darn. Once I was gay and happy, I gamboled on the lea, each hour was bright and snappy, as festive as could be. In all these windswept regions no sadder wight now dwells y aunts in serried legions, have entered, wearing bells. There is my Aunt Amelia, who plies a powder puff; and there’s my Aunt Cordelia, who takes cheap grades of snuff; there is my Aunt Susanna, who is exceeding fat; and eke my old Aunt Hannah, who brought her Maltese cat.” «Rizrt Matiens gfe “Oh, cease your idle chatter,” the sad- eyed peeler cried; “what do such trifles matter, where full grown griefs abide? Had I no greater trouble than aunts in every chair, my harmless mirth would bubble from lips devoid of care. I pinched a plute for speeding—the work for which I'm hired—and now that plute is pleading to have me promptly fired. Tis pull is vastly greater than any pull I know; he'll get me soon or later, and hence I’m filled with woe. For I've a second cousin, a grandma nearly dead, and uncles by the dozen who look to me for bread. I view my future sadly, disasters in it lurk; if things continue badly I'll be obliged to work. And when my life is darkest, when comfort galli vants, when I’ve the care that cark you tell me of your aunts. Your life hunkydory, you ought to dance and grin; if you resume your story I'll have to run you in.” Each day my woe increases, each day I'm more distressed, for I have aunts and nieces until I cannot rest. Men see the teardrops glisten upon my features pale, but not a man will listen when I would tell my tale. ery Clairvoyance by Cyril B. Egan I Love blind—or overkind, That he should never fail to see, That he should never fail to find, Some new and subtle witchery— Hitherto undiscovered g In the beloved’s lov ace? . Or are the luckless lov blind Who cannot find, in maiden dear, What love beholds with vision clear? Do all these others walk in night, Where love looks on with second sight? Up in the air over nothing. comichooks.gom