Judge, 1922-12-23 · page 8 of 36
Judge — December 23, 1922 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "Told at the 19th Hole" - Judge Magazine This page collects golf-themed humor pieces—the "19th hole" being a bar where golfers gather after playing 18 holes. **"Ballades of a Dub"** satirizes a golfer whose *technique* is perfect ("My form's O.K.") but whose *actual performance* is terrible—he slices, pulls shots, scores poorly. The joke mocks golfers who blame external factors or theory rather than accepting their own incompetence. **"Scooty Blear"** and the anecdotes use Scottish dialect to tell brief golf jokes: a tailor who presses his shots like fabric; a fat golfer needing both knees to tee off; the false origin story of bagpipes (allegedly a failed Irish instrument the Scots adopted). These are ethnic/regional humor stereotypes common to the era. **The clubhouse story** satirizes an officious club member who lectures another player about proper golf etiquette mid-round, only to be dismissively shut down—mocking social climbers and busybodies who enforce arbitrary rules. The page reflects early 20th-century American golf culture: a leisure activity for the wealthy, ripe for self-mockery about incompetence and social pretension.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Told at the 19th Hole Ballades of a Dub by ALN. My Form's 0. K.—But That Is All C. Fowler (As others do their own M.D.) ‘To cure me of an awful slice Or pull of such delinquency; He'll look me over and agree The swipes that Im t the ball Are really My form’ 30. K., but that is all. The way that T address is nice And quite expert as it should be, I do not wiggle even twice Or break my arm or duck my knee; [I'm simply there in theory But when I play—Lord! how I fall And get a six on our par three— My form's O. K., but that is all. Hypothesis cuts little ice In conduct out upon a tee And text-books are a bum device For actual proficiency: I think I'll slip the grand G. B. ‘To moulds and give results the call And swat the ball with action free— My form's O. K., but that is all. L’Entoi Farewell, ye patterns, formule Henceforth, I don’t intend to stall; Results are what I'm after, see? My form's O. K., but that is all. When Napoleon wanted to go to sleep he closed his eyes and went. But then he slept on a battlefield not in a modern flat. One down. Scooty Blear WV. Myers fer who forgets is an’ ither debts. A gawf coorse is a piece o° meadow lan’ whaur two-legged animals mill aroun’ an’ ne'er ken when tae gae hame. A frien’ o° mine, wha is a tailor, plays gawf noo an’ then. Frac force o” habit he canna help frae pressin’ a’ his shots. y a mon asked me whither chin me. TI tauld him I haed soome occasionally at th’ nine- teenth hole, * 8 6 Th’ fat mon wha has tae get doun oon ane knee tae tee his ba’ shad finish th’ job an’ use baith knees, then his prayer for a gude shot micht be answered. . 8° 6 © thing tae be said in behalf or. ‘There's na gawf widow * A gawfer's idea o° heaven is a private coorse, with a hatfu’ o° free gawf ba’s at ilka tee, na wa ards, na trees in th’ rough, na cot o’ boun’s, na slaw four- somes, an’ a plentifu’ supply 0° Scotia's maist famous beverage. . . . An Irishmon haed th’ effrontery th’ ither day tae tell me that th’ bagpipe wasna origirated in Auld Scotia, but that it was tried oot several months in Tre aforehan’, He said th’ Irish didna li it an’ sac as a joke turned it ower tae th’ 6 Tuxedo Clubhouse, Tuxedo Park, N.Y. Scotch an? that they have nae seen th’ q maker,” remark “Hoo's that “Oh, so, s “Marian, hae been yawnin’ a | fond mither tae her bairnie, “T wasna yawnin’, mither; T was anly airin’ oot my mouth,” she replied. « iUs time ye were in seven: HE “charter | member.” just about to drive his ball from the first tee when his jon was drawn to some one com n the clubhouse an officious member of the green’s com- who, when he reached the . sup of players waiting their turn to drive off, started in with g lirected toward the was attention to the least two fect in front of the marker told him it was “his kind” that made it for the club to maintain any members to set a good example that the markers were there for a purpose and that if the pla did not know their purpose he had better study up on the rules of golf. The player the ed: “Are you all through now? es, [ think Lam,” replied the offi- are sure you have nothing further to say,” added the pl