Judge, 1922-12-23 · page 7 of 36
Judge — December 23, 1922 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Explaining This Judge Magazine Page This page from *Judge* (a satirical American magazine) contains three pieces of holiday-themed humor: **"An Economical Gift List"** satirizes Depression-era frugality by suggesting absurdly cheap or useless presents: a check book for Father, dish towels for Mother, matches for Uncle John, and—most darkly comic—a box of firecracker caps for Grandma so explosions will jolt her awake in her rocker. **"To the Girl Higher Up"** laments modern apartment living, contrasting old-fashioned caroling at ground-level windows with the frustration of singing Christmas carols to someone in a high apartment building who cannot hear you. **"My Critic"** is autobiographical commentary: a post office employee provides encouragement to rejected writers by stamping rejected manuscripts "FIRST CLASS MATTER INSIDE," offering psychological solace despite rejection slips. It's gentle satire about artistic validation and self-delusion. The cartoon at top depicts a crowded urban Christmas scene with the caption mocking commercialization: "I'll say there's a Santa Claus—there's a million of 'em!"
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
An Economical Gift List by Norman Anthony TOR Father—An economical and useful gift for father is a new check book. This » obtained very easily at father’s bank, and when tied with a red ribbon and hollyberries (raspberries will do) makes a delightful little pres pen and penholder may be added if one ishes to do the thing right. For Mother—Embroidered dish and hs m: asing gifts, With a » paint, a pretty motto, such as santiness is next. to Godliness” may aced in the upper part of a wash- to complete the thought. Aunt Suc—If Aunt Sue suffers from few embroidered porous plas- an economical and useful gift. ered mottoes, such as “Parting is such sweet sorrow,” add a delightful touch, Uncle John—Most uncles smoke, so a box of matches makes a delightful gift, especially if you shop around anc kind that don’t light. Cut his ini the box and tie a ribbon around it. For Grandma—Grandma will go to sleep in her rocker, so a nice box of caps makes a uscful present, as she can scatter these on the floor and if the chair walks too far the explosions will wake her up. For Grandpa—A pretty megaphone made of cardboard and decorated with water color will please grandpa and make it much easier for grandma to hear him. sas To the Girl Higher Up by Ruth Plumly Thompson F I were an old-fashioned Caroler, And you lived in Old-fashioned I'd sing, Christmas FE: "Neath your winde quicter Entirely too high! Alas for the heartless Apartment hotels! y “Merry Christmas” sing up top flat And it says Merry Christmas And lots more than that! ae Fair weather friends are those found under borrowed umbrellas! 5 — ° Merson . Deswibds “T'll say there's a Santa Claus—there’s a million of ‘em!" My Critic by H, Allan Perrill OMEWHERE in the post office de- J partment there is a man occupying a position far below his worth. As a literary critic he is unsurpassed. He seems to be singularly free from prej- udices. atter what the theme or the manner of handling, no matter if it be humor, pathos, drama, romance, satire or verse, he re Is it ly from the standpoint of literary quality. When editors are unkind, when my wastchasket overflows with — rejection slips, he is my only source of encourage- ment. Without his expression of his high opinion of my work, which he invariably reads, des} should soon ov and I should go back to my old position on the street sweeping department of the board of health. But he ex ts the sting from my rejection slips and the stamp of his ap- proval is an antidote for their poisonous influence, Whenever a rejected manu- script is returned to me in one of those large clasp envelopes, which T provide for the purpose, he invariably stamps upon its face in bold type: FIRST CLASS MATTER INSIDE