Judge — December 9, 1922 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

~ capacity of one hundred pounds each. \ telephone message started for the Mason grove a truckman who would haul the ton of lemons to the citric acid factory in town at $1.50 per ton, That was $3.50 invested in one ton of lemons. \fter that everything was velvet. ‘How much for a ton of lemons?" the owner asked. “Delivered at the factory, we will let ou have $2.50." ‘Two-fifty per hundred pounds?” asked owner of the ton of picked, packed and ed fruit. >, certainly not; two-fifty for the urning, and fixing his recent golf opponent with a wavering stare, the in from Seattle exclaimed What's is this right?” Surely; go ahead and get your lemons off my grounds, At the present market price of lemons we can't afford to market them.” “Ah-h, T sec ntly whistled through the teeth of the holder of the ton of . “Eve heard of being handed a But I've been handed a ton of Stow the Sticks by C. P. McDonald V HEN autumn’s chill is o'er the land, And maple - turning gold; When coal trucks a ry hand, And summer's radiant tale is told; When steam first crackles through the pipe, And geese fly southward day by day; When hunters trek the fen for snipe, Then, golfer, stow your sticks away. When days are short and nights are long, And sweethearts hover round the grate; When winds no longer croon a But shrick in tones that irritate When summer drinks h: ng, And “something har« sway; When stalwart trees stand gaunt and seared, Then, golfer, stow your sticks away Just bid the caddie fond farewell, And in your locker put away pristine balls, that eke would tell rhe splendid scores vou did not play: Go, golfer, get an ample stock Of indoor sports without deli Then get your blanket out of hock And stow your golfing sticks away. A WELL-KNOWN actor was playing on the Deal links and had the mis- fortune to become bunkered. Near the green some carpenters were doing work on a summer house and as the noon whistles were blowing, knocked off work. Our actor friend stepped confidently up to his bunkered ball, took a firm stance, and hit the ball. It popped out of the against the face of the bunker and rolled back into a heel mark, Again he crashed into the ball only to meet the same fate. Then stro! ter stroke he wasted while all the time the air was be- coming more sulphureous, The carpen- ters became interested and walked over near the green to see what it was all about, when with a tremendous effort the ball sailed up on th own with a thud and trickled into the One of the carpenters turned to the other and remark “Well, after what I've seen, he'll have a h—I of a time getting it out of there! sae “What is the difference between a fish and a fool?” “I don’t know. lifference?”” Well if you'll bite there isn’t any.” Tl bite. What is |) “What Claus dear?” “Well, he who } \\ ing. bring you, on the evils of smok- | \f It must have been | | | some old-timer.” f did Santa my I guess it was sent this book a