Judge — December 9, 1922 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Four Curtain Calls TTHE Freshman, with an eagerness scantily concealed by an air of cos- mopolitanism borrowed from traveling salesmen. The Sophomore, with cocksure car- riage supported by the illusion of external correctness and ignorance of internal emptiness. The Junior, soberly elated by visions of approaching influence in the home- town Kiwanis Club, The Senior, slightly aged by anticipa- | tion of the end of paternal remittances, by the necessity of finding a job and of terminating a pleasant engagewent by | marriage.—Northwestern Purple Parrot. } sas Not His Stuff “Lost my notebook.” “Lost all you know, huh?” No, lost’ all my professors know."— Washington Sun Dodger. sas Willie—Mother, do they have prohi- bition in heaven? Mother- Then how can it be a land of corn and California Pelican. A Column of Gossip. —Yale Record. out!—Toronto Goblin. With the College Wits Irrepressible, Joyous, Irresponsible Popular College Fallacies From the Prof's Outlook: TPUAT every man who stays after class is showing commendable interest. ‘one who has contradictory views is stupid, That every recitation requires two hours pi ation. the man who talks the most in ssroom is the most intelligent. the longest. paper shows est amount of thought. From the Student's Outlook That every Prof can be “kidded along” if you know how. the That voluntary occupancy of a front seat means a sure A. 4] one call in time at a Profs home nine days’ work. at much I Profs nd—well, ve per cent. to pass the course you need is with.—A mherst Lord Jeff. sae Student (hastily accosting a eof his)—Calvin, there are a couple of creditors close to my heels, Fellow Student—Quick, run into the savings bank over there. Nobody will think of looking for you there —Minne- sota Foolscap. sae HIE used to let me hold her hand ‘J She used to treat me something grand She used to let me see her home She used to make dates o'er the phone She used to let me ste kiss he used to fill my heart with bliss he used to like me. It was I used to bait the other guy. —Michigan Gargoyle. Aas Al—That girl is an infant prodigy. Pal—Why so? “T asked her whose she answered with am Grinnell Malteaser. saa She—My fiancé’s birthday is next Saturday, and I want to give him a sur- prise, He—Why not tell him your right age? —Columbia Jester. sas Income Tar Official—And is tion from your husband an ¢ Kate—I dunno about “official.” All I knows is as when 'e comes to our ‘ouse we calls the police an’ they chucks ‘im she was, and n size blow. 22 Dat Ver’ Good Dog NK she’s ver’ nice dog I got; She’s tres habile, dat leetle Dot. She's stay by me for tree, four year. Mos’ all de tam she’s leevin’ here. Some tam I'm hongry, I don’t care So long as Dot, she’s got he’s share. You tink dat she’s ongrateful, now? Jes’ wait, my fran’, I tell you how Las’ night I'm smoke my pipe an’ sit, Dat Dot come in—jes’ ink of it— bring home s " man how she more pups for show heem so! ‘oronto Goblin, ae mes is going to bore Pretty expensive, Opacus—Oh, no. All he has to do is sit and talk to it and it won't cost him a cent.—Columbia Jester. sae ays draw queens if you Lafayette Lyre. You can al have the jack. eae To an Ungrammatical Owl SNOWY amid the fragrance Of the summer night, doth bsent love, and—somewhat vague— rants Thus—“To whol” owl An woo Ah, snowy owl, that has forgotten Whom ‘thy song was written to, Why proclaim this misbegotten Phrase To who¥ In defiance of all grammar, To thy better self untrue, Wherefore brazenly dost stammer That To who? Bird of quaint linguistic leaning Asketh thou who I may be, Harping on thy tortured meaning- Owl, It’s me. Harvard Lampoon She—And when you told him I was married, did he seem sorry? He—Yes. He said that he was very sorry, even though he didn’t know the fellow personally.—Pennsylvania Punch Bowl.