Judge — November 18, 1922 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

7 “iy Biiyuii Zz 4 LES A141 ti fe Drawn by RENE CLARKE. rin “Say, Bill, what about us trying to get into this here ‘dry’ navy the papers is talkin’ about?” They want bartenders and birds with experience.” “We would have no chance. A Rigid Examination Admiral Gleaves by Rear NE day, in the winter of 1903, when the Mayflower was cruising in the West Indies with the general board, Admiral Dewey and Admiral Taylor, his chief of staff, were sitting aft on the poop talking ‘about the rigid examina tions of officers for promotion. Examin tions which then usually occupied five or six days, are now twice as long “The only time I was ever examined was when I as promoted to lieutenant,” said Adm y “The examining board was made up of a commodore and two captains. The examination began by the commodore telling me to describe how to ‘club haul’ a ship off a lee shore. I had gotten as far as cutting the cable, when he interrupted me and said: “That’s wrong, sir; you don’t cut the cable until the wind is on the other bow.’ I was about to agree with him, when one of the captains said: ‘Not at all, commodore. Mr. Taylor is right. The cable should be cut the moment the ship comes head to wind.’ Then the other captain ex- claimed: ‘Gentlemen, you are both wrong. The time to cut the cable is just before the wind’s ahead.’ This immedi- ately started a hot argument, and I was entirely forgotten, until suddenly re- membering that a youngster was listening to their discussion the commodore said to me very sharply, and without refer- ence to the board: ‘Mr. Taylor, you I hur- have passed—that will do, sir. three ried out of the room, leaving the old gentlemen still quarreling.’ Admiral Dewey laughed and_ said, “Well you are one examination ahead of me. I never had any—and by the way, Taylor, did you ever hear of a ship being ‘club hauled “Not out of Marryat’s novels,” plied Taylor. re- sat OOFEY SAUNDERS learn to punctuate hi officers with the required “si the officer of the deck “Did you swab dowt Goofey replied, “No!” the gold striper. “ Goof.—Lrevt. US.N. never could ies to the So when ked Goofey P gangwa what?” ed !”” replied Miter, Ne “HEINIE” set A gob leaned over a gas drum, The height of its contents to see, He lit a match to assist him, Oh, bring back that sailor to me! —Harovp L. Barnsreap, U.S.S. Denver. tae “Are these binoculars very powerful?” asked the flapper of the signalman on the bridge. “Powerful? Great balls of cat hair! I was lookin’ at a gal on the beach at San Pedro with ’em and it looked like » was on Catalina Island—eighteen behind me.”—Locan E. Ruccues, ippi. 18 Passing the Buck Trotman, oman, U.S. S. Tennessee by R. B. F[HE skipper calls the “Exec” nts something done, ec” calls a department head and ts him on the run; ‘The department head gets busy and tries to make it suit, By passing buck and baggage to a tired and trusty “lieut.” when he The said lieutenant ponders, for he wants to make it go, And he calls to his assistance boiled C. P.O. “chief” he thinks it over as he strokes his whiskered jaw; He beckons to his swift first-class, and to him he lays the law. a hard- The The first-class starts to worry, for to him the work is new, But he gets his gang together, and he tells them what to do. The “gang,” of course, get busy, turn to, and do the job; And in the end the work is done by an ordinary gob. sae Hic—Figured out a way to keep from waking up with a hangover. Coff —Hows'at? “Don’t go to bed!”’—Mupsuipman L. H. Brenpew ann Mipsuipman G. W. Daistey, U.S. Naval Academy.