Judge — November 4, 1922 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Seooty Blear by C. 1. Meyer Gave rooles are printed tae read, but ¥ verra few players hae e'er strained thir eves. This is th’ time o” year when th’ gawt coorses are invaded by trench diggin’ rinies. Wh Vandals an? th’ Goths hae been sandered. They were perfect gentlemen compared wi? th? divoteers. \ “doode ranch” oot West is tac a saw! cor It winna be lang afore th’ coowboy is extinct. Th’ maist important personage in ony the th’ ootside mayor is commoonity caddie master. is a gawfer wha tak’s three or \ kalls mair practice swings oon th’ tee. A mallae is a close relative o° th’ kallac. He hands oop th’ hul coorse when he gets oon th? green, \ frien’ 6? mine th’ ither day put oon a bird's-nest cap, a searlet necktie an’ a pair o” rattlesnake socks. After losin’ nine holes in a roow, he announced he was insolvent an’ then pawned his ootfit for an a’-day soocker. Claes dinna mak? th’ gawfer. Ye're Too Far Awa’. Lassie Maidline in a Ka “Girls Cloob tae I as farm paper hibit Thir Calve: ee der, an out-of-town I was in- left- if FE WAS guest of a mutual friend. troduced and invited in for a foursome. On the eleventh he pulled his drive so far Drawn by Rene CLARKE. It’s a pity our Presidents didn’t take up golf before. What? R. G., playing the San Francisco Golf and Country Club course, topped his ball into a bank of moist clay. He took a mighty swat at it with his niblick, and while mud flew the ball did not, but was found imbedded in mud on the face of his club. Mr. G. walked to the green and dropped his ball from the face of his club into the hole, claiming a two. What rule or rules did Mr. G. violate by this action? If in violation of the rules, what should he have done? that the rest of us started, as had our balls. toward the flag. His second he sliced as badly as he had pulled before, and T received the ball on the right jaw- bone for a count of five. After the game, which T managed to play through, he handed me a very pretty pocket pencil, saying, “To remember me by Do you think the peneil was required to fix him in my memory?—J. M. Eepson, Glendale Golf and Country Club, Hamilton, Ont. og \ LL man of pleasing appearance 2% entered the office of the Depart- ment of Banks of Ohio, of which TH. F Scott is superintendent, and announced his name in a voice so soft and low that the obliging subordinate who ceremoni- ously received him did not catch the name. The caller knowledge of dinate, himse made no pre! moto inking, and the a recent addition subor- to the department. force, assuming his visitor to have some financial connection, pos- sibly with a small rural bank, conceived the idea that it would not be amiss to enlighten him on banking in its various ramifications. He undertook this task with an enthusiasm refreshing in view of his own limited experience. ‘The tall, elderly man gave attentive ear to all that was said, and when he arose to leave sed his thanks for the highly illi- ating information given him and the courtesy accorded him. The subordinate suggested that the caller's name had eseaped him, and would the latter please repeat it? When he heard the name he almost collapsed. He had been giving lessons in banking to the Hon. D. Ro Crissinger, Comptroller of the Curre rer N TEA TUANA, that picturesque little imitation of Monte Carlo, just across the border from San Diego, is a café run by two brothers from Oklahoma. One night I was sitting at a table conversing with the younger brother and his blond sweetheart. AU big black-haired f walked up to the bar and ordered a dri asually looki ound the room. His eyes met the eyes of the nd lingered a moment ry than her sweeth thought neces As the big chap turned back to the bar, I said to the boy: “Do you know that birc “Yeh trying to be sweet on 1 here.” he answered with a baleful expression. Thinking to tease him, I sa “Well you don’t hate him—do you?” After another glance at his rival’s back, he answered: “Hate — him! Why—I wouldn't dust off his tongue if I met him in the desert.” Think what a bully thing Sculptor Borglum could have done with old Abe giving Seward’s topped drive the once-over