Judge — November 4, 1922 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“It's livelier than it looks” If—in Golf by Fannie F. B. Clark I’ YOU can make your drive with nerve unshaken, When she stands near and jokes about your stance And you are feeling utterly forsaken, Convinced with her you haven't got a chane If vou can twist Your body, only just above the waist; If you can gain control of arm and wrist, Can plan your shots and play them without haste; follow through.” and never If you can gauge your distances just right, And then can keep your eye the pill; If you can use more skill than you use lued to might, And get that click each stroke, that brings a thrill; If you don't “slice” way off into. the traps, Nor dub your ball just out into. the rough; If you don’t “pull” as if you're shooting craps, Nor, when you lose a hole, get in a huff; If you can pick a caddy from’ the bunch Who'll take the slightest int’rest in your game; Or, if you hunch, You still can keep your temper, just the same When balls sail out and never can be found, Though any fool should where they are; If you can lose that stroke without a sound, And then buck up and make the hole in don’t possess that lucky know right If when you shoot your brassie for the green, It rolls too far and lands you in’ the sand, If you can use your mashie, without spleen, And play your ball out with a steady hand; If you can make a “birdie” now and then, And hold your nerve right up until the ond; You'll nthe admiration of all men. What's more—you'll hare a game. of my friend! Golf- These Prove It! Smith of Sheldon, Ta., "5 something v funny unusual that happened in my Cadi back seat yesterday, while I was playing around at the Sheldon Golf and Country Club. T had left a Colonel 30, and another of off make on the rear seat. When I eighteen holes later, much to my surprise a big fat Plymouth Rock was snugly resting on the two balls. I did not disturb‘her f moment or two and then I walked over tothe car. She jumped up, rackled and flew out, leaving a nice big strictly fresh egg. Here's the and s the Colonel 30, to prove any ptics that golfers only deal with facts. nd it opens a new and practical use for one’s old and battered golf balls.” 4 Englewood Golf Club, Englewood, N. J. Us BEN, how do I look?” asked a proud old Virginian as he showed his new suit of clothes to his favorite servant, “Why, yo’ looks splendid, master, splendid! Why, yo’ look as bold as a lion!” “What do you You never saw one. “Why, yes, I did, master; a lion, often!” re, Uncle Ben?” “Why, “down master antation, they've got a lion, and yo" Lhim, too; TL know yo" has.” Vhy, you old goose, you, that is not a lion; it is a jackass, and they have called know about a lion? [ve often on Johnson's him ‘Lion “Well, T don't care about dat. Yo" look jes’ like hit YOVERNOR BORN, of | the F | Reserve Bank of Atlanta, relates the foliowing incident as happen- ing when he was president of a national bank in Alabama: One of his customers, a sawmill owne came into the bank and ed he want to borrow some mor d when M Wellborn inquired of him as to what he wanted to borrow it on, he stated he wanted to borrow “on time”! Mr. Wellborn advised him he would have to furnish a statement of his assets and liabilities to obtain the loan, and re- quested him to segregate the “slow and quick assets.” In making the list, the customer showed the horses as “quick” assets, but stated he thought the oxen should be shown in the “slow” assets. ttt APARTY of darkies were in the midst LX of a crap game when the law stepped in. One little darky, spying the wagon outside, made a wild dash for the door. The officer on guard stopped him, saying, “No you don’t—you can’t get away.” To which the darky replied: uwsee, officer, Ah jes wants to get a seat dis time!” comichooks.