Judge — October 21, 1922 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ar eee = z A SERENADE—AT LAST! But it happens to be only the bed springs “taking on” from the nearest broadcasting station The Yawn by Chet Shafer YAWN is an acute agitation of the re face. Although a trifle more de- corous than a sneeze it is equally as gratifying and much less mussy. It is apt to occur at any moment and_ it affords a feeling of satisfaction that out- rivals all others except a well-scratched itch in the small of the back. It is the harbinger of the end of a perfect day. When a honeymoon begins to wane it breaks out in a series of yawns with the groom taking the first chance at bat. He muffles a few at first, stifles several, waylays them with a handkerchief or knocks them cold with the palm of his hand. But he doesn’t get past with it. It becomes noticeable and Hattie calls the turn, A discussion follows after which they come back to earth and count the money they have left. Not long ago there was a newly-hitched bearcat_ who thought her husband was more ardent than Enoch. She had only seen him at his best. One day she glimpsed him with a yawn in the ascendancy. She studied it id reached the crest of its trajectory. Then, as she watched it subside, she realized that the only prize she had ever drawn was at cooking school. A yawn removes all the kick from ro- mance. It takes the punch out of protestation devotion quicker than a parental footfall on the stairs. Well-bred folks ensconce their yawns in public. They hide them in a napkin or newspaper. If a good raconteur sees a yawn blooming in his audience he punches out. The world to-day is inundated, however, with na only make the who regard it a s it gr ators who awn more imminent and a signal for more pro- tracted effort. An incompleted yawn is distressing. But a deep-seated, full. rigged yawn, accompanied by a deluge of tears, is refreshing. ‘The only sensation that rivals it comes with stepping in a candy store and hearing the proprictor speak English. Egg View News Notes by Les FSG NTEW was the scene of mach “excitement this morning immediately after a report got spread around that Lem Bushnell, our marshal, had made an arrest. An investigation, however, showed that Lem had only pinched himself while sitting on a bench. * + ie Van Every Our sheriff, who has took to reading Darwin between arrests, reports that changed into) human beings in order to break themselves of hunting fleas, also has quit eating mince pie at noon as he claims that it keeps him awake the rest of the day. ee * Joel Pettigrew of this place lost a collar button on the corner of Forty-second street and Broad: t Satur Joel will pay a good reward to the returner and ask no questionsas he is confined to his f room, having on one of them new fangled shirts without the collar attached. comicbooks.com