Judge — October 21, 1922 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Say, young feller, d’ye know how clost ye come to shootin’ my prize Holstein? hired man when he wuz a-milkin’ of 'er.” Sto ries to Ye knocked the hat offen the Tell JUDGE pays $10 weekly for the best story submitted for this page. and $5 for the second best. All others at regular rates. First: Prize 7) C. STOKES, President. of the 4>M anics’ National ak of Trenton, N. J., tells this story: One day the cashier of a bank said an old customer,’ The board of ors at their last meeting de- cided that they | would no longer rene Ww your note. ing to be exceedingly assing,” replied the customer. ause this note has been in the nk now about twenty-five ; “Well.” responded the cashier, “the directors are not going to turn you down, exactly. They have de- cided they can no longer discount your note, but they are going to ‘ou storage for it.” Second Prize DAT was a good husband and father and had taken good care family at times. He was we his neighborhood, but occas’ would go on a spree while his larg as best they could. Wi unexpected death came the were shocked, and a kindly chatting over the fence with proc >, vod points. the neighbor. nd am [not the one to know replied the bereaved wife. ‘Sure and every night from the first day we were married didn’t he come home and place his pay envelope in front of me as wlar as a clock? Not a night did he miss all the time we were married. Of course the pay en- velope was always empty, but look at the principle of the thing!” sae ITTLE four-year-old Jimmy, 4 being told to pray for his ab- sent father, for his small brother who was ill, and the servant who had sprained her ankle, did. so. But to his mother’s astonishment he concluded follows: “And now, God, please take good care of yourself, for if anything happens to you we'll all be in the soup. liked in neighbors woman, the Jed to comfort her by telling of He was such a man of principle.” HOMAS BUGLE poration lawyer, of ‘Tampa, F who occasionally imbibes quite freely, was at the time of this story recuperating out of the way inn in a small Swiss the choice room on the first floor and at the time the only guest there. The late Mrs. Hyde Ranger, known on both hemispheres socially, who also knew this inn, thought it a good p to stop and after a busy social season in Paris, appeared suddenly at the inn, to the delight of the innkeeper, who said she could have the whole first floor, with exception of the room occupied by Mr. ‘Thomas Bugle. After going over the rooms Mrs. Hyde Ranger decided she must have Mr. Bugle’s room for her niece, and assured the innkeeper that she would fix it by writing Mr. Bugle. Mr. Bugle received the following note: “Mrs. Hyde Ranger, of New York, presents he Mr. Thomas Bugle, of Tampa, nd requests that he kindly give up his room on the first floor and move up to the second, as she would like very much to have the room he now occupies for her niece so her whole party could be on the one floor: Mrs. Hyde Ranger ree a prominent cor- In. answe jowi ‘Mr. Thomas Bugle, of Tampa, Fla., presents his compliments to Mrs. Hyde Ranger, of New Yo know if her niece drink and desires to THE CLINGING VINE “Devoted? I should say so. wind him around her little finger.” Why, she can Original, unpublished humorous stories only are wanted, Mrs. Hyde Ranger beeame very. in- dignant but as she had started this cor- nee she de to carry it out lispatched immediately the follow- nswer: Irs. Hyde Ranger, of New York, ain presents her compliments to Mr, Ree, Fla., and y to state that eepont so sh ing ag Thomas Bugle, of desires most empha her niece docs not drink.” And in due time she received this final ultimatum: Ir. Thomas Bugle, of Tampa, Fla., again presents his compliments to Mrs. Hyde Ranger, of New York, and desires to state that as her niece does not drink it is easier for her to get up to the second floor than Mr. Thomas Bugle, who does drink.” + San Francisco. *k he was sent about the park to retrieve fallen leaves and twigs. It was autumn and Pat was kept a little too busy for his comfort. One day he was called to the superintendent's offic jd that his job was made perma- nent, and handed a special officer's star, with instructions to always wear it in a prominent place, to respect it, and warned to keep busy. “Sure,” says Pat, “it’s to the ground me nose has been kept since 'vebeen here, like a worried foxhound, and if it place ye want for the star, it will have to be the seat of me trousers, I'm thinking, with all respect toit.” ud WO Kansas farmers met at Long Beach on a winter vaca- tion and were discussing their na- tive State. Each claimed his county was the worst in the world for wind storms. Then along came a man from Ohio who settled the argument by telling of a terrible cyclone that had crossed his own years back. He said: Armed with a large tlemen, one day they come ‘arm back in that blowed ne acrost m Jashington Coun well plumboutat id her in my neighbor’ when I come over to git it next day he had done sawed it up for post holes, and. was usin’ it puttin’ up his fence. comicbooks.com